


Ask For Much

by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (hutchabelle)



Series: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 [1]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anger, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Artist Steve Rogers, Best Friends, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Blind Date, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Breathplay, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coffee Shops, Communication Failure, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Dirty Talking Bucky Barnes, Disappointed Steve Rogers, Disappointment, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Food, Frenemies, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Sex, Gay Steve Rogers, Halloween Costumes, Hangover, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lack of Communication, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Messy, Mistakes, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Morning Kisses, Morning Sex, Multi, Music, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Bucky Barnes, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Poor Life Choices, Porn with Feelings, Protective Natasha Romanov, Quickies, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Separation Anxiety, Sex, Shower Sex, Snowballing, Surprises, Talking, Threesome - F/M/M, Top Steve Rogers, Veterans, Wet & Messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/buckybarnesdeservestobehappy
Summary: Bucky just wants to relax, but his best friend doesn't know how to sit still. For some reason, Bucky allows himself to be sucked up into the maelstrom that is Steve Rogers.orBucky Barnes doesn't ask for much, but maybe he should.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Series: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087151
Comments: 69
Kudos: 106
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020





	1. Change the Locks

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Ask For Much  
> Square Filled (letter and number and prompt): K1, Writing format: drabble  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)  
> Rating: G

Bucky Barnes didn’t ask for much in life. All he wanted was a soft bed, the love of his cat Alpine, and strong coffee in the morning. That wasn’t a lot. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Except that it was.

His best friend, Steve Rogers, had a way of dragging him into all sorts of shenanigans, and Bucky wanted to smack Steve upside the head for it.

Steve burst in the door, eyed his oldest friend, and ordered, “Get dressed. We’ve got places to be, Buck.”

That’s when Bucky Barnes realized he also needed to change his locks.


	2. That Gold Bikini

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky makes it up to Steve.
> 
> Or 
> 
> There are benefits to being friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: K3; AU: Star Wars  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

“I told you I didn’t want to go,” Bucky grumbled and settled further into the couch cushion. He had every intention of ignoring Steve until his best friend gave up and went to the Halloween party without him. He should have known better. Steve had always been more stubborn than God.

“Oh, come on, Buck! It’s a costume party, and you told me you’d come.”

“No,” Bucky drawled. “What I said was that it sounded like you’d have fun. I, however, have no other plans than sitting my ass here on this lovely piece of furniture, drinking my coffee, and making sure Alpine is treated like the queen she is. Let me know how it goes.”

“James Buchanan Barnes. I don’t believe you.”

Bucky glanced up and blinked innocent eyes at his friend. He had to admit Steve’s costume was pretty great—cream shirt, black vest and cargo pants, boots, a fake blaster on his hip. If he liked costume parties at all or had any desire to see anyone other than his cat, he’d appreciate Steve’s effort a lot more. But since he felt like being a little bit of a jerk, he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just sitting here. And don’t call me James.”

“You know what?”

“No, Steven. What?”

Steve stared at him for a few minutes before blinking and dropping his eyes. The hurt on his face was almost enough to get Bucky off the sofa. Almost, but not quite.

“Just forget it,” Steve muttered. “I should have known better.”

“Don’t blame me that your Luke and Leia costume isn’t going to work now,” Bucky said, his voice steady and dry.

“I’m dressed as Han, asshole.” With that, Steve stormed from the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Bucky shook his head, sipped his coffee, and tried to not to think about how hopeful Steve had looked and then how wounded he’d sounded when he left. Bucky knew he could be difficult sometimes, but he didn’t ever intend to hurt his best friend. His friendship with Steve was one of the most cherished relationships in his life, and he hated that his own reticence had caused the guy even the tiniest hint of pain.

It wasn’t his fault that his life had gone off the rails. He’d had everything planned out, and it had all fallen apart around him. Steve had been there for him, like he always was, and maybe Bucky had started to take him for granted a little bit.

And then that kiss… and what had happened after, the confusion and fear of messing things up, their agreement that maybe friends with benefits wasn’t such a bad thing. It didn’t have to be anything more than that, but it could be if they wanted. After a while, neither of them knew where they stood, and Bucky felt he had every right to be confused and standoffish and a little bit bitter.

Except none of that should ever make his best friend feel bad. Ever.

“Shit,” he cursed and popped up from the couch. His cat startled and glared at him with an accusing snarl. “Alpine, I’m gonna have to make it up to him, aren’t I?” She only blinked at him with big gold eyes, and he sighed before grabbing his wallet and heading out the door.

It only took about thirty seconds into his visit at the costume store before he felt like he might, possibly, absolutely would suffer a panic attack if he didn’t get out of there in five seconds. He staggered through the store to the costumes, quickly located the Star Wars section, grabbed the first thing in his size, and bolted to the registers. When the cashier raised her eyebrows at him, he tossed some bills at her before grabbing his costume and getting the hell out of there.

By the time he stumbled back into his apartment, he knew there was no way he could go to the party—not after barely surviving his trip to buy a costume. It didn’t matter that they were Steve’s friends and that most of them liked Bucky, too. He simply couldn’t handle any more face time with anyone who wasn’t named Steven Grant Rogers.

“I’ll just have to give him a party here when he gets home,” Bucky muttered, and Alpine quirked her head and yawned.

He spent the next few hours looking up recipes for Halloween treats, placing a grocery order for delivery, and then cooking cupcakes and stirring punch. He found some candles and lit them, turned off most of the lights, and arranged the pumpkin and gourds Steve had bought for him the week before in a halfway artistic fashion. If he couldn’t attend the costume party, maybe Steve would forgive him if he threw a second one. Satisfied, he headed down the hall to his bedroom so he could change into the costume he’d purchased earlier.

“Fucking hell,” Bucky hissed when he picked up the package. No wonder the cashier had looked at him strangely. He should have paid more attention to which one he’d picked because… Well, he was going to have to do a little manscaping if it was going to work.

An hour later, Bucky was bathed, groomed, waxed, and moisturized. He twisted his hair up into two small side buns and turned to face the costume, which was spread out on the bed. He could swear it mocked him. He wriggled into it, adjusting the pieces, and checking himself out in the mirror. An inordinate amount of bare skin glowed back at him, and he twitched when some of the cloth rubbed the sensitive skin that still tingled from waxing. When there wasn’t anything left to do, he picked up his phone, inhaled deeply, and sent Steve a text.

**Bucky:** Having a really bad night. Can you come over?

**Steve:** Still at the party.

**Bucky:** I’ll make it up to you. Please.

**Steve:** Fine.

Bucky rechecked the kitchen and living room while he waited and realized he probably shouldn’t have lit the candles beforehand. They flickered like they were about to go out, but he thought that gave a somewhat spooky effect. Finally, Bucky sank onto the couch and twisted his hands nervously.

“This better work,” he muttered at Alpine, who barely glanced his way from her perch in the window.

Steve knocked on the door, and Bucky jerked to standing. He waited breathlessly as Steve entered and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes widened, and his mouth hung open as he took in the apartment. His eyes shone as they flickered from the kitchen to the living room and stopped on Bucky.

“What—? Bucky?”

“Happy Halloween, Stevie. Sorry I didn’t go to the party, but I thought maybe…” His voice trailed off as Steve regained his bearings and shut the door behind him.

“Wh-what are you wearing?” Steve asked, his voice dropping an octave. “Is that…? _Fuuuuuuck_.”

“That gold bikini?” Bucky answered hoarsely. “Yeah. I’m the Princess Leia to your Han Solo.”

Steve blinked and swallowed in slow motion, and Bucky shriveled a little into himself. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe the friends with benefits thing wasn’t still on the table. Maybe Steve had other plans, and they didn’t include hooking up with his best friend when he had other options with people who weren’t as damaged as Bucky was.

He was so far down the What-If Well of Despair that he almost missed Steve move. Before he knew it, Steve was on him, his hands grabbing at tingling skin and tugging Bucky’s hips fully against his. Mouths opened, tongues tangled, moans filled the air, and they fell onto the couch, Steve between Bucky’s legs, hard and insistent and eager.

“You’re forgiven,” Steve breathed against Bucky’s neck. “You’re so unbelievably forgiven.”

Bucky ground his hips against Steve’s and gasped, “Friends again?”

“Sure. Yeah,” Steve rumbled. “Friends.”


	3. Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's really glad he waxed.
> 
> Or
> 
> Steve has no use for that gold bikini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: U3; Kink: "Please let me come."  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Bucky closed his eyes and turned off his brain. Steve’s assurance that they were still friends reverberated through him, and he allowed himself to simply feel.

Steve’s hands on his stomach. Steve’s mouth on his neck. Steve’s tongue licking his jawline. Steve’s cock pressed against his inner thigh. Steve, Steve, Steve. He was everywhere, and Bucky wanted him closer.

“Buck,” Steve groaned. “Buck, this bikini…”

“Take it off me,” he invited. “Please.”

Steve growled and ripped the top. It fell to Bucky’s sides, exposing his freshly waxed chest. Steve dropped his head to lick across pecs until he latched onto Bucky’s left nipple and sucked. Bucky’s back bowed, chasing Steve’s mouth, as whimpers and grunts filled the air. Bucky tore at Steve’s vest and shirt, desperate for bare golden skin under his hands and against his torso.

“Baby,” Steve moaned. “God, you’re so fucking sexy.”

He pulled away and Bucky watched, his mouth watering, as Steve shrugged off his vest and tugged his shirt over his head. Bucky reached for his waistband and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Steve shoved them down past his hips, and Bucky hummed at the sight of Steve’s erection, hard and jutting upward from dark blonde hair.

“Happy Halloween, Stevie,” he whispered, and Steve’s eyes darkened with lust.

“You did all this for me, baby?” Steve rumbled. “You fixed yourself up all pretty and made me food and decorated just for me?”

“Uh huh.”

“So good, sweetheart. So. Goddamn. Good.”

Steve caressed Bucky’s hip, slipping his fingers underneath the bikini bottom and tugging it down past the hipbone. He followed with his mouth, laving the skin there with affection and attention until Bucky squirmed and twisted in exquisite pleasure. Steve’s fingers were in Bucky’s mouth and then—

“Steve!” Bucky cried, when blunt fingers teased his hole, circling with slick digits before easing in and out, slowly, deliberately, insistently.

“So pretty, Buck. Little gold bikini. Gorgeous against your skin. Your hair up in buns and off your neck, smooth chest, hard little cock, balls smooth as silk. Fuck, baby. Perfect.”

Breathless, Bucky pled, “Stop teasing.”

“I’m not teasing,” Steve murmured. “I’m just getting you ready.”

Steve nudged the bikini bottoms, and Bucky’s dick sprang free. Steve nosed at it, breathing hotly against the flushed skin, his fingers still moving in and out, stroking and stretching, until Bucky thought he might melt into the sofa.

Steve’s mouth closed over him, and Bucky’s moan burst from him. Steve was wet and hot and determined, sucking Bucky’s cock with enthusiasm. Still fingering him open, his other hand pinching nipples and tracing abs, stimulating Bucky until he could hardly breathe.

Bucky cried out, pushed beyond what he thought he could handle, as his balls tightened and pressure built in his gut. He tangled his fingers in Steve’s hair and tugged, undecided between pushing Steve down and pulling him off.

“Steve! I’m gonna—”

Steve, the bastard, let him go. He slowed his finger strokes, barely moving, and grinned up at Bucky. “No, you’re not. Not yet.”

“Hell,” Bucky muttered, gasping for breath as his blood raced. The pressure of Steve inside him was steady and sure, but his neglected cock bobbed between them, and his balls shriveled the tiniest bit from delayed gratification.

“I’m gonna hold off on you, Buck. The way you made me wait all day long thinking you didn’t care, that you just didn’t want to be around me. You tried my patience, baby, and I’m gonna do the same to you.”

The threatened promise caused Bucky to shiver beneath Steve’s heat. They stared at each other, their breath hot between them as Steve stretched over him and curled his fingers. Their hips bumped, and Bucky groaned at the feel of Steve’s erection grazing against his.

“Wrap your hand around them,” Steve ordered, roughly. “Rub us off.”

Bucky obeyed, eager for the friction. He gripped and squeezed and jerked while Steve kissed his neck and repeated the rhythmic strokes between Bucky’s legs. It was too much, too much stimuli, and he sobbed Steve’s name repeatedly as fluid leaked from their tips. Bucky smeared the moisture together, lubricating his hand and increasing the pace.

Steve licked the shell of Bucky’s ear and grunted, “Stop.”

Stunned, Bucky let go, wailing at the loss of pressure. He didn’t want to quit. He’d been so, so close. So ready to come and spill over them both, staining them with sticky, sweet release.

“Pull your legs up, baby. Up on either side of my chest. Spread wide open for me.”

“Steve,” Bucky panted, “I gotta take off the bottoms.”

“No. No, you don’t. Just spread for me, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

Bucky trusted him with his life, so he did what Steve asked. He pulled up his legs, curling his pelvis and baring himself as Steve nudged the material away with his thumb. Curling his fingers, Steve kissed Bucky, his lips pressing hard and insistently and his tongue thrusting, chasing something deep inside.

“Please let me come,” Bucky sobbed, his chest threatening to burst from stoked desire. “Please, Stevie. I gotta… Please.”

“Shhh,” he hushed him. “Soon, Buck. Be patient.”

And then Steve pushed in, his blunt head pressing against and into Bucky, slick and hard and adamant. Bucky cried out, elated at the fullness, and dropped his head back against the couch. Mouth slack, eyes closed, breath puffing in uneven bursts, he turned off his brain and reveled in the bliss.

“Yeah. This is… This is _everything_ ,” Steve sighed. Bucky attempted to agree, but just then, Steve pulled out and then slammed back into him. Bucky choked on his words, moaning at the sensation, and spreading his legs wider.

Things devolved quickly, then. Steve bucked into him, and Bucky clung to that broad back, muscles flexing as hips plunged, driving them closer and closer to the edge. Bucky’s breath caught, and he felt the rush coming. Steve, sensing his imminent climax, grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed.

“Not yet,” he commanded. “Almost, but not quite.”

Feverish with want, Bucky howled his displeasure, but he was at Steve’s mercy. Sweaty, determined, and barely in control, Steve thrust, his strokes wild and uneven, pace quickening, grunts growing louder, for what felt like hours.

“Buck!” he shouted and stilled, his body shaking as he held back. He nudged Bucky’s cheek and hissed, “Now, baby.”

Bucky blubbered Steve’s name and gave in. Steve pulsed inside him, and Bucky’s eyes rolled back in his head. His insides burst into an inferno, ignited by Steve’s release and stoked by white hot coals of relief. Steve wrestled Bucky’s left leg over his right shoulder, and Bucky arched his back and broke.

He shouted curses as fire rushed through him. His body throbbed, and then he was coming, hot and sticky and so fucking amazing, he crested and spurted and writhed and squeezed and twisted and—

“More, Stevie. More, more, more,” he chanted, but there wasn’t any more to give.

Steve trembled atop him on shaky arms, exhausted from holding back for so long. Bucky’s contorted body was zapped of energy, but his blood zinged with untapped power. It was messy and sticky and so perfectly right when their lips met in sweet, spent kisses. They murmured to each other, reassuring themselves that they were okay, that this hadn’t changed anything other than ensuring their friendship was healthy and strong and full of love for each other. Friends forever, they insisted, refusing to acknowledge something deeper lurked underneath their fraternal attraction.

“Amazing,” Steve grunted and pulled free. Bucky squirmed as fluid leaked from him, but Steve calmed him, stroking gently in circles, using his release for lubricant.

“You wanna stay tonight?” Bucky asked eventually, his words garbled.

Steve chuckled before dropping another kiss onto Bucky’s lips. “Nah, I got work early tomorrow. Don’t want to wake you.”

“I don’t mind,” Bucky insisted, “as long as I get my coffee.”

“Raincheck?” he asked, and Bucky’s heart broke a little. He’d counted on the sleepover. He wasn’t prepared for the chasm in his chest when Steve rolled off him and onto his feet. Suddenly cold, Bucky blinked at his torn costume and marked chest. He was filthy and debauched, and Steve was leaving.

“Sure,” Bucky agreed reluctantly. “Raincheck. That’s fine. Take some cupcakes, though. They’re for you, anyway.”

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve said with a grin and extended his hand to help Bucky to sitting. While Bucky squirmed and grimaced as their arousal dripped off him, Steve crossed to the kitchen counter, grabbed three cupcakes, and headed for the door. “See you tomorrow.”

The snick of the door closing felt like a cell clanging shut. What they’d done certainly wasn’t what two friends normally shared together, and the sense of loss he felt as he sat in his apartment alone felt more like losing a lover than saying goodbye to a friend. Bucky had the terrible feeling that Steve was moving away from him, and all Bucky could think was, “Please let me come, too.”


	4. Oh, Bucky Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha has some things to say.
> 
> or
> 
> Bucky's heart may be broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: K5; Walking Disaster  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Natasha walked into his apartment the next morning like she owned the place, and Bucky had to admit that wasn’t far from the truth. After all, they’d bought it together when they were still dating. He hadn’t been interested in another woman since she’d very carefully and lovingly told him he was repressing his bisexuality and should be honest about his attraction to men. She’d been right, which had led to him viewing his best friend in a new light. Which had led to him sleeping with Steve the first time. Which ultimately led to his current situation. As such, he wasn’t thrilled to see his ex-girlfriend, no matter how good of a friend she still was and how much he kind of still loved her.

“What are you doing here?” he grumbled and buried his face in a cup of strong black coffee as big as his head.

“Good morning to you, too. What crawled up your ass?”

Bucky glared, smacked his lips, and mumbled, “Steve’s hard dick.”

Nat’s eyes bugged at his answer. Wiggling her fingers, she settled onto a stool at his kitchen island and breathed, “Tell me more about Steve’s penis in your rear end.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m assuming that’s what you did. Explain, and pour me some coffee.”

Bucky flipped her the bird, but she just laughed and got her own caffeine before sitting again and motioning for him to spill it. Sighing, he decided to get it over with since she wouldn’t stop badgering him until he told her what had happened.

“I didn’t go to the costume party with him yesterday. Couldn’t handle being around anyone, and he was pissy about it. Alpine let me know it wasn’t okay, so I decided to make it up to him.”

“Is that why your living room looks like Halloween threw up on it?”

“Can you not?”

“Sorry,” she said with a wide smile, clearly unrepentant. “Continue.”

Shrinking into himself, he explained, “I went to the store and grabbed a Star Wars costume because he was dressed up as Han Solo, and I didn’t realize it was the gold bikini Leia wore when Jabba had her chained, but I didn’t have the time or the mental health to exchange it for anything else, so I decided to…”

“You wore it,” she gasped, eyes wide.

“Yes, and then told him I was having a bad day and asked him to meet me here—which he did because he’s Steve and fucking noble and all his crap—and then we, well…”

“You fucked.”

“We fucked,” he agreed, his face beet red.

“And then?”

“I asked him if he wanted to spend the night.”

She smacked her hands down on the counter. “He _left_?!”

Humiliated, Bucky nodded and swallowed against the lump that appeared unbidden in his throat. “He left,” he croaked.

“How long did he wait?”

“After?” When she nodded, he mumbled, “About three minutes. He took some cupcakes I baked for him when he left.”

“Oh, Bucky,” she sympathized. “That’s…”

“Exactly what I deserved for not going to the party? Yeah.”

“I was going to say it’s not like Steve to do that to you. I mean, you two have been best friends since forever, and I know he cares about you very much. I still don’t think you two are really just friends with benefits, but this seems out of character.”

He shrugged, defeated and raw. “Maybe he’s figured out he’s got better options. I mean, you’ve seen him. He’s stacked as shit, and there are a lot of gay men out there, a lot of bisexuals, too, who can give him a lot more than I can.”

“Bucky Barnes, I love you, but you are a walking disaster. You tell Steve, the personification of eager goodness, you don’t want to go somewhere with him when he’s dying to attend. Then you make it up to him by going overboard with your own event at which you’re wearing a bikini—which, can I point out, is a woman’s costume. Then you spread your legs for him and send him off with baked goods. There aren’t even any words for how many layers of disaster that is. You’re almost hopeless.”

“Well, that makes me feel so much better.” His sarcasm followed him into the living room where he flopped on the couch before sloughing onto the floor. He didn’t want to sit where he’d let Steve rail him before walking out the night before. Maybe he’d burn the couch and invest in floor pillows.

“Bucky Bear, we’re gonna fix this,” she assured him. Sinking onto the couch behind him, she pulled him back against her legs and threaded her fingers through his hair. When he burst into tears, she petted him tenderly and murmured repeatedly, “I’ve got you.”

He hoped with every fiber of his being that she was right because it wasn’t only that his best friend seemed more interested in the benefits than the friendship. I was also that it felt like Bucky’s heart was shattered.


	5. Braided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Bucky ponder the options.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky refuses to face the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: Y5; Hair Braiding  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) (Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanoff)

“It’s okay,” Natasha crooned. “You’re going to be okay.”

Bucky nodded, embarrassed at his emotional outburst. He rarely showed vulnerability, and he hated how raw and exposed he felt, even though she’d seen it from him more than anyone but Steve.

“I don’t know why this bothers me so much. It’s not like I’m pining after him. We’re best friends. We’ve slept together before. It’s no big deal. We talked about moving in together once or twice, but it was just to save money and pool resources. We’ve spent hundreds of nights apart. Why was this one so bad?”

Her facial expression stayed blank, although her eyes were stormy. She remained silent for several moments, seemingly waiting for him to come to a realization he simply didn’t see.

“That’s a really good question, Bucky Bear. Why _did_ this one seem so bad? What was different?”

He pondered that for a minute, but nothing popped at him. It was just sex. It always had been when anything between them had happened. It didn’t mean anything other than a way for both of them to find a little bit of comfort and relief in each other when the world was way too stressful. Steve went on dates with other men, and Bucky considered the possibility of seeing someone before dismissing it as way too much trouble. He liked his life, enjoyed his friendships and alone time, and had a willing participant when he got too wound up. And if that didn’t work, he always had his own hand.

“Nothing, really.”

Alpine emerged from Bucky’s bedroom, slinking across the living room in precise steps. When she reached them, she sat, blinking at him until he scratched behind her ears. After a few rubs, she snipped at his hand. Offended, Bucky glared at her.

“Alpine seems to disagree.”

Nat continued to comb his hair with her fingers. When she’d worked through the tangles, she separated his hair into sections and started to braid. It felt good, the gentle tugs stretching his scalp so it tingled. When she finished, he practically purred, so she undid her work and started again.

“Alpine has a thing for Steve,” he mumbled. “She’s a traitor cat.”

“Are you sure Alpine is the only one?”

Too content to speak, he grunted. Of course his cat wasn’t the only one who adored Steve. He did, too. They’d been best friends—brothers, practically—for decades. That didn’t happen without genuine affection.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he grumbled. “Feels too good.”

“Maybe you need to get your mind off Steve.”

“Maybe I need to get my ego in check.”

“How’s that?”

“Think about it,” he said, suddenly convinced he’d figured it out. “I’m not the most lovable guy in the world. I’m snarky and guarded and wrap myself in an armor of PTSD and trauma. I’ve earned the right, but that doesn’t make it easy for other people who have to deal with my…outbursts, for lack of a better word. I pissed off Steve, and, instead of blowing it off and waiting for him to forgive me, which he always does, I tried to make amends. I don’t do that very often. It’s hard for me to admit I’m wrong.”

“That all tracks so far,” she agreed.

“And I guess maybe I expected Steve to fall all over himself, be grateful for the gesture and fawn over me, when what he did was take what I offered and then go home. It’s not like he rejected me. He did rip the bikini off me and pound me into next week. He just didn’t stay once it was over.”

“You are seriously the least romantic person I know.”

“Besides you.”

“Yes. Besides me.” She fiddled with the nape of his neck and squeezed him between her knees, giving him a hug with her legs. “And you’re sure you don’t want anything more with him?”

“I’m not sure I want anything more with anybody, Nat,” he admitted. “I mean, Steve’s familiar. So are you. I’ve had my fill of change for the rest of my life.”

She didn’t answer, simply continued playing with this hair, braiding and unbraiding, holding him close with her legs, and soothing his frayed nerves. She was a good friend, second only to Steve, and he loved her.

His eyes drooped as she comforted him, and he dropped his head to her thigh. The only sound was the soft swish of her fingers in his hair and Alpine’s tail twitching. Content, he drifted between waking and sleep, lulled into a place where he was loved and cared for and didn’t disappoint anyone.


	6. Accidentally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha wants to make Bucky feel better, and Steve does, too. 
> 
> Or 
> 
> Well, that’s kind of a threesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: B4; Accidental Polyamory  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes); Natasha Romanoff & Bucky Barnes; Natasha Romanoff/Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers (briefly); Natasha Romanoff/Bucky Barnes (past)

“Feeling any better?” Natasha hummed, her fingernails scratching his scalp as she brought him back to consciousness. Bucky blinked rapidly, trying to figure out how much time had passed since he was lulled into sleep. He pushed into her touch, needing the contact, the reassurance that someone cared and wanted him to be happy, that his mental well-being mattered to someone besides him.

“You always were so good to me,” he mused. “Why’d we break up again, anyway?”

She rained kisses along his neck. Turning him to face her, she tilted his face up and pressed her mouth firmly against his. His lips parted, allowing her tongue to sweep inside, and he pressed his palm against his crotch where his dick was making a half-hearted attempt to spring to life.

“You tell me, darling. Why _did_ we break up?” she purred, the rush of air tickling his face.

Bucky chuckled and pulled her in for another kiss. “You got a better option is how I remember it,” he teased, enjoying the way her lips curved into a seductive grin. Nat had always been a sex kitten, and she didn’t feel the need to temper that for anyone.

“Nah, babushka. That wasn’t it.”

“Did you just call me your grandmother?”

She laughed and kissed him on the tip of his nose. “You remind me of her. The way you worry incessantly and fuss over everything. I swear sometimes you’re a little old lady.”

“That’s not emasculating in any way. Just what I needed to hear when my ego’s in the toilet.”

“Hush,” she whispered in his ear and ran her hand down his torso to his waistband. “Stop talking. I have plans to get your ego back on track.”

“Nat, what—” He sucked in a breath as she dipped into the waistband of his sleep pants and fondled him. Already half-hard, he bucked into her hand.

“Listen to me carefully, Mr. Barnes, and answer me truthfully.” Her throaty tone shot directly to his groin. “You and Steve are in an open relationship, right?”

“Friends with bennies,” he gasped, hardly able to speak. “Not a relationship. You know that.”

“I want to be absolutely sure I’m not crossing any boundaries.”

“Not with him.”

“Well, then, is there anything wrong with being exes with benefits? No different than what you and Steve are doing, right? A little competition might be good for our boy. Might make Rogers jealous that his side hustle’s got someone else to help him nut when he’s not around.”

Bucky answered with a high-pitched whine, needy and wanting. As low as he felt about what had happened with Steve, Natasha’s attention made him believe he was desired and wanted, if only because his ex-girlfriend had always had a way of making him horny as hell. She squeezed his cock then, a little rougher than was safe. He was already considering begging.

“I’ve missed that sound, Bucky. Those breathy little whimpers you always made when I touched you. Do you make them for Steve, too? Do you tell him what you want him to do to you, or do you keep that all bottled up inside? Hoping he’ll figure you out? Wishing someone knows you the way I do?”

Her fist gripped him, and, as she talked, her voice low and dirty in his ear, she stroked him. He stiffened, pushing into her hand, suddenly frantic to chase his high. He could feel his heart stitching back together with every brush of her skin against his. She had a way of making him feel like he could conquer the world, that he was worth fighting for, that she wouldn’t walk out on him at his most vulnerable. More than anything, it was so easy to fall into old habits, and she was one of his best from the recent past.

“Nat,” he groaned, “you don’t have to do this. Not just to make me feel better.”

“I want to,” she promised, her voice in his ear, his back pressed into her chest, her arm snaked over his torso and down his pants, pumping and gripping until he was squirming from side to side. “I want you to know you’re worth everything. Everything.”

The word echoed in his head. Steve had said the same thing the night before when he was inside him. What did it mean that his two closest friends both wanted him this way, but that only one made his heart hurt?

His head fell back, and she leaned down to kiss him, hot and fierce. He briefly considered pulling away, but she was right. Steve and he weren’t exclusive. Bucky was about a thousand percent positive that Steve had hooked up with his close friend Sam at least a few times in the past several years. Bucky didn’t like it, but who was he to dictate? He’d been in a serious relationship with Nat at the time.

She massaged his throat with her free hand, pressing and releasing at regular intervals so that he struggled to breathe a few times. His head swirled, and he allowed himself to drift, to let Natasha take control, to stop worrying and feeling like shit. He’d never cared about Steve leaving before, and there was no reason to think there was something wrong with them now.

Natasha whispered in his ear as she stroked—filthy suggestions of what she wanted to do with him. He was close to losing control, so he fought to calm himself. He wanted this to last. When he tensed, she bit his earlobe and ordered him to relax. His cock throbbed, fluid leaking from the tip in fat, milky drops, and his balls grew heavier.

Debauched and burning inside, Bucky almost missed the door opening and the look on Steve’s face when he saw them. Natasha didn’t miss a beat. Before he knew it, she’d invited Steve to join. Steve’s mouth replaced Nat’s hand on Bucky’s cock, wet and warm and so fucking amazing.

“You see that, Bucky?” she growled. “You see Steve sucking you down? You want that, don’t you? Look at him on his knees for you.”

Bucky cursed, so close to breaking, he thought he might die. Steve licked a stripe up his erection before swallowing it down again and hollowing his cheeks. Nat sucked on his neck and pinched his nipple through his t-shirt before squeezing his throat harder, restricting his air again so that he felt lightheaded. Then Bucky was shouting and shaking, his body seizing, emptying into a vacuum that pulled from him a pleasure so profound it made him scream. Held down at his hips and throat, Bucky writhed against those grips until he was completely empty. His body went limp, and he was pliant and malleable under their hands. His lax mouth released barely audible choked sighs as aftershocks ravaged him.

He must have blacked out, because when he became aware of his surroundings again, he was tucked under a blanket, and Steve and Natasha were talking in a gentle rumble over his left shoulder.

“What just happened?” he managed to rasp. Steve and Nat looked at him and then at each other, unabashed at their joint effort to make him lose control.

“Nothing but a couple of friends making another one feel really, really good,” she answered, her smile wide. “Steve, here, forgot his wallet and needed to pick it up on his lunch break. Imagine his surprise when he walked in on you getting a hand job from your ex. But, you know, friends with benefits. God, isn’t polyamory just the best?”

Steve blushed and cleared his throat. “Is that what this is? Wasn’t exactly planned, which I thought was part of the definition. Spontaneous polyamory?

“Accidental, maybe, is more accurate.”

Bucky stared at them both, his eyes wide as they yammered. What the hell were they talking about? Steve had just blown him while Nat choked him so hard he almost blacked out. Or maybe did. His ex-girlfriend and his best friend and sometimes lover were acting like it was no big deal. Bucky begged to differ. The orgasm he’d just had was a Very Big Deal.

“I don’t understand either of you two,” he grumbled.

“That’s okay, darling. I understand enough for all three of us,” Nat laughed. “Steve, you need to get back to work? Why don’t you walk me out? I have some errands to run. Bucky, honey, you’ll be just fine here on your own, right?”

He didn’t have a chance to answer. Steve grabbed his wallet from the coffee table and clapped him on the back. Nat kissed his cheek, and the two left, leaving Bucky gaping after them, more confused than ever. He had the eerie impression his ex-girlfriend was up to something, and Steve and he were in for a ride whether they wanted to come along or not.


	7. Frenemies Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last person Bucky wants to talk to after a bad 24 hours is his frenemy Sam Wilson, but the universe has other ideas.
> 
> Or
> 
> Sam knows way too much about Bucky's sex life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: Y1; Frenemies  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes); Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson

Bucky’s day didn’t get a whole lot better after Steve and Nat left. Not that it had been all bad. He wasn’t one to complain about a hand job giving way to a blowjob, but he was absolutely confused and absolutely unsure how to approach his best friend about the situation. And Nat… What the hell? They’d broken up so long ago, he had no idea where that had come from. His only defense was that he was miserable and sad and she’d made him feel a hell of a lot better.

In short, Bucky’s day sucked, and it didn’t get any better when he got a text from Frenemy Number 1 with an insistent reminder that he’d agreed to volunteer that afternoon at the VA.

“Well, hell,” he muttered, and Alpine shot him a disapproving look. “Oh, stop with that. It’s not like you haven’t ever done anything wrong.” He headed down the hall and jumped into the shower. He had thirty minutes before he needed to meet up with Sam.

Sam Wilson was one of those things that came along with being best friends with Steve Rogers. Sam and Steve had met in college when Bucky had chosen to go away to school. He’d worried for a while that being at MIT while Steve went to Penn State would drive a wedge between them, but it hadn’t. Sam had been Steve’s roommate there, and they’d remained friends when they both moved to New York after graduation. Sam’s family was military, so he volunteered his counseling services at the local VA, and he’d enlisted Bucky when he’d found out about Bucky’s service in the National Guard.

Sam Wilson was also the most irritating man on Earth, which wasn’t at all nice of Bucky to say, but it was the truth. He was loud and gregarious and enjoyed giving his friends a hard time, all of which made Bucky incredibly uncomfortable. He liked to keep his distance from almost everyone—Steve excluded—and it was impossible to do that when Sam was around.

Sam smiled broadly when Bucky showed up to the VA. He slapped Bucky on the back and then pulled him into a half-hug that Bucky assumed Sam thought was cool. It just made Bucky want to slither away and back into his hole where he could avoid the rest of the world.

“Buck Nasty. My man.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and nodded. “Sam.”

“Surprised you’re here. Heard you’ve had an eventful 24 hours or so.”

Bucky flushed and shifted from foot to foot. “He didn’t.”

“Oh, but he did,” Sam crowed. “I got the whole run down from Steve right after he left your place. Talked my ear off his entire way back to work. You, sir, are dirty as hell. Living up to your nickname.”

“You don’t need to know that much about my sex life.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more,” he agreed. “Let’s get to work.”

Sam led Bucky into the hospital ward, and they worked together that afternoon with the patients there. Sam led them in group activities and one on one mentoring, as well as completing individual evaluations while Bucky kept the others engaged. It was rewarding work, and Bucky managed to put his own frustrations and disappointments aside in the face of other people’s problems. In the grand scheme of things, he didn’t have it so bad. Just because he had a completely screwed up personal life and a best friend who’d walked out on him after sex and then returned to give him a blow job while his ex-girlfriend jerked him off… Bucky shook his head. He was a fucking nightmare.

“You want to grab a coffee?” Sam asked. “You look like you could use an ear.”

“I don’t—”

“Stop. Don’t even go there. You’re not keeping me from anything, and you need someone to talk to that’s not Steve or Nat. Both those two have the hots for you. I don’t. I think you’re ugly as shit, so I can listen without trying to get you naked.”

“I hate you,” Bucky groaned.

Sam grinned and shoved him through the door. “The feeling’s mutual. Now, get your ass in the cab. We’re going to get a cup of joe.”

By the time they were settled in the corner of the coffee shop down the block from Sam’s apartment, Bucky had unloaded the situation and laid it out for Sam to consider. He asked a number of questions—mostly about how Bucky was feeling and what he wanted to happen—and Bucky grew more and more frustrated. The problem was that he didn’t know. He didn’t have any idea what the solution to his problems were, and Sam questioning him only made him feel worse.

“Why is it you two haven’t ever dated? You’re practically joined at the hip, anyway. It’s like you enjoy torturing yourselves or something.”

Bucky stared at the bottom of his coffee cup and swirled the last little bit of liquid around in circles. Sam had asked the same question so many others had over the years, and Bucky had no coherent answer. They just hadn’t. When they’d kissed for the first time and then that had turned into more, they’d both been too scared of messing up their friendship to do anything other than call it a friends with benefits situation. Now things had gone on so long that Bucky was afraid to push for more.

“I don’t know.”

“And the thing with the three of you today… That’s just weird.” Sam declared. “Although, damn, I’m jealous that you got some action from Nat. That woman is my dream girl. I’m going to wear her down eventually.”

“I doubt that somehow.”

“Why’s that? Because you ruined her for all other men? You’re not that spectacular, Barnes. I’ve got inside sources, so I can say that with confidence.”

Bucky glared at Sam and snapped, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“That wasn’t nothing. Tell me what you meant.”

Sam held up his hands in surrender and laughed. “I’m just saying that maybe things have gone a little stale with you and Steve in the bedroom. Might need to shake things up.”

Exasperated, Bucky snorted. “We just role-played with me in a gold bikini last night. I think we’re okay in the sex department.”

“You know what? I didn’t need to know that.”

“I thought you already knew. That Steve called you this afternoon and told you everything.”

“He did.”

Bucky laughed outright. “Uh, huh. And he conveniently left out that I was dressed up as Princess Leia, and he got to live out his Han Solo fantasies? I don’t really believe that, Wilson.”

“Please stop talking. I was trying to block that image from my long-term memory.”

“Sam, for someone who wants to help, you’re being kind of a dick right now.”

“Fair enough,” he admitted. “Look, I really think you should talk to Steve. Tell him how you feel. See if maybe it’s time to take things in another direction. Shake things up. I think Steve needs that more than he’s willing to admit.”

“Steve’s always had more guts than smarts.”

Sam barked with laughter. “From your mouth to God’s ears. I’ve never met anyone else so ready for a fight. Talk to him, Barnes. If I was less secure, I’d be jealous as hell of your friendship with him. It’s special. You two can weather this, but not if you don’t face it head on.”

Bucky sipped the rest of his coffee and stared out the window. He had a terrible feeling his frenemy was right. He was going to have to deal with the situation, and it would have to be soon.


	8. Separation Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky takes the plunge, but Steve has other ideas.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky's reminded Steve doesn't owe him anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: Y4; Lending a Hand  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Bucky trudged down the street to Steve’s place with his hands in his pockets. They hadn’t talked much over the past few days, and that bothered Bucky a lot. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to shake the image of Steve on his knees and sucking him off with Nat right there. None of them had ever been prudes, but he’d never really been into multiple partners either. He preferred to keep close contact restricted to those about whom he cared very deeply. His best friend was definitely that.

He knocked and waited. Unlike Steve, he didn’t like using his key unless he’d been asked to check on things while Steve was gone. He could hear noise inside, so he rapped on the door a second time. The pounding ceased, and Bucky laughed when he heard Steve curse. It sounded like he’d tripped over something on his way to answer Bucky’s knock.

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky said warmly when the door opened. Steve stared at him for a few seconds before blinking and motioning him inside. His hair was tousled, and his white t-shirt was stretched and streaked with dirt. Worn jeans hung low on his hips, and Bucky had to fight the urge to push them down and see what they covered. That was totally normal, though. After everything, Bucky just had a really good-looking best friend.

“Sorry about the mess,” Steve mumbled and went back to his work.

Following closely, Bucky looked around with curiosity. “What’s going on here?”

“Building.”

“Well, I can see that. Why are you doing that?”

“If you could see it, then why’d you ask?”

Steve was being petulant, and Bucky kind of wanted to smack him. Instead, he walked over and ran his hands along the smooth planks of wood. When Steve didn’t flinch away, Bucky offered, “You need a hand? I’ve got some time.”

Steve released a massive sigh and shrugged. “Sure. I’m behind anyway. Can you hold that while I screw it to the other board?”

Bucky shrugged off his jacked and pulled his hair back into a messy bun. After pushing his sleeves up to his elbows, he did as Steve asked. The drill whirred loud enough that talking over it wouldn’t be terribly helpful, so Bucky remained silent and observed Steve’s actions. They were deliberate, like he needed each angle to be perfectly straight or his whole world would fall apart. Finally, Steve put down the power tool and scrubbed his forearm across his forehead.

“Want a beer?”

“Sure,” Bucky agreed and followed him into the kitchen. They stood together, hips checked against the counters as they took long drags of alcohol in total silence.

“Can you check on the place the next few weeks?”

Bucky startled and glanced sideways. “You going somewhere?”

“Yeah. LA for work. Helping set up an exhibit at the Getty. I wrote a proposal to curate it, and they accepted it. It’s a great opportunity.”

“That’s amazing!” Bucky gushed, excited that Steve’s work at a local gallery had offered him a chance to work with the bigger art collections in the city and that those connections had led to this. “Proud of you.”

“Thanks. I need a change of scenery anyway.”

“Is that… I mean, I could fly out and visit. If you want.”

Steve refused to look at him. Instead, he dropped his empty bottle in the recycling bin and walked back into the living room to flop onto the couch. “I’ll be busy.”

“I can entertain myself, and my job’s always remote. I can work anywhere.”

“It’s okay, Buck. I can get by just fine on my own.”

Bucky swallowed, his throat tight. “The thing is…you don’t have to. I’m with you—”

“—Till the end of the line,” Steve interrupted. “I know. I think maybe I’d like some time to myself.”

“Don’t you think—”

“What, Buck? That we should talk about it? That the best thing to do before leaving town for a month would be to discuss the fact that things have been strange between us for a while? That you roleplayed my fantasy for me one night and the next day I sucked you off while a woman choked you?” Steve shook his head. “No, I think maybe we should table all that and just deal with it when I get back. Maybe then I’ll have some idea how to feel about all this.”

“Was it the costume or the choking?”

Confused, Steve looked up at him. “What?”

“Was me fulfilling your number one sexual fantasy the issue? Or was it my bisexuality that’s the problem?”

“Neither.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I thought we agreed to table this until I get back,” Steve grumbled.

“No, I think you agreed to table it, and I’m pushing the issue.”

“Like always.”

“Yes, because you’re the paragon of patience and level headedness.”

Steve sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked tired and frustrated. If Bucky hadn’t been so desperate to make things right, his best friend wouldn’t be so discouraged.

“Buck, please stop. I’m too tired to fight with you right now, and I have to get this stuff down to the gallery tonight so we can get it on the plane tomorrow morning.”

Flustered, Bucky squeaked, “You’re leaving tomorrow?”

Steve didn’t answer, which was all Bucky needed to know. He backed his way to the door and glanced around the apartment. He had no right to be upset at Steve for taking advantage of such a great career opportunity, but he still felt like he’d been betrayed. Again.

“Have a safe trip. Keep me updated.” His tone was bitter, but he was panicked. Steve was leaving him again. It was becoming a pattern Bucky didn’t like at all.

“Buck, wait.” Steve crossed the room quickly. Cupping Bucky’s face in his palms, he leaned in and brushed the softest kiss imaginable across Bucky’s lips. “I’ll miss you.”

Bucky tucked his face in Steve’s neck and clung to him. Strong arms held him against Steve’s solid chest, and everything felt right for a few minutes. All too soon, Steve pulled away and dropped one last kiss on his forehead.

“Thanks for taking care of things while I’m gone.”

Bucky swallowed hard in a deliberate attempt to quell his emotions, but he managed to respond, “Of course, punk.”

Steve grinned. “Jerk. See you when I get back.”

Bucky’s legs barely moved as he tried to walk down the hall to the elevator. It took everything he had to leave. No matter what Steve said, it still felt like Bucky was losing his best friend, and it might be for far longer than the few weeks Steve spent on the west coast.


	9. The Envelope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's not handling Steve's absence very well, but a well-timed phone call makes things better.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky and Alpine cuddle, and it's adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: U2; Newspaper Clippings  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Bucky’s phone rang as he opened the door to his apartment. Cursing, he stumbled to the kitchen, dropped his groceries on the counter and snatched his phone out of his pocket just as it stopped ringing.

“Well, hell,” he grumbled. He checked the screen and let out a little squeal when he realized it was Steve. It was totally undignified, but no one heard him except Alpine, and she was long past thinking her human had any sense at all. He hit the return call button as quickly as he could and waited breathlessly for Steve to answer.

It went to voicemail.

“Dammit,” Bucky muttered and tossed his phone on the counter.

Steve had been gone for over two weeks, and they’d only had a chance to talk via text since then. Thankfully, Steve’s messages had been full of silliness and teasing and inside jokes that made Bucky hopeful they could be okay again. Still, he missed his friend. The disappointment in not catching Steve’s call choked him so that he had to gasp a few times to breathe. Blinking quickly, he stashed his groceries in the pantry and fridge before scooping up his phone and Alpine and flopping down on the couch with her.

His cat must have understood his sadness because she curled into his neck and purred. Warm and balled up on his chest, she nudged against his chin. He closed his eyes and cuddled her to him as he stroked her fur.

“Thanks, baby,” he sighed. “You can always tell when I’m upset, can’t you?”

They lay there for a while. Soothed by his pet’s attention, Bucky jumped when his phone rang again. Alpine let out a yowl when he practically dumped her onto the floor to grab his phone. His face split into a wide grin when he saw it was Steve. Excited, he showed it to Alpine and then swiped to answer.

“Hi!”

“Hey, Buck,” came the rumbled reply. “How’s it going?”

“Fine, fine,” he replied impatiently. “How about you? How’s LA? How’s the exhibit coming? What are you doing in your downtime?”

Steve chuckled across the line. “I miss you, too.”

“I _do_ miss you,” Bucky admitted. “I’m also interested in the answers to all those questions. PS, come home soon.”

“I can come home sooner if you’ll do me a favor.”

“Name it.”

“A million dollars and my sex slave for life.”

“I— Uh… Okay?” Bucky stammered. “That seems oddly specific. I mean, I’m willing, but—”

“I’m kidding. I just need something from my place. You heading over there anytime soon? Next couple of days is fine.”

“I can go now.”

“No, that’s not necessary. Just sometime tomorrow or the day after is good enough.”

“It’s really no trouble,” he said eagerly. “I can—”

“Buck. Stop.” He did. A pregnant pause grew over the line, and Steve heaved a sigh. “You don’t have to go overboard every time you think I’m upset with you. You don’t have to go now. You don’t need to drop everything for me. When it’s convenient or you were already planning to is fine.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled softly.

“You don’t have to be sorry either. I just need some newspaper clippings from my top desk drawer. The ones my Ma saved from my art shows? I have a file. Added to it over the years. If you can overnight them to me, that’d help. There’s a design issue I can’t get right, but there’s one show I did… Actually, I might be able to get by with a scanned image from your phone.”

“Sure, Stevie. I can go by tomorrow. I have some errands to run anyway. It’s no trouble.”

“Thanks, Buck. It means a lot.” Steve was quiet for a few seconds and then added, “I really do miss you. I might be able to make it back by the end of next week. If you’re free, I can bring over dinner. We can hang out.”

“Yes, please,” he replied eagerly. Perhaps too eagerly, if he was being completely honest.

Steve chuckled. “I’ll make it happen. Just send me the image when you can. I’ll text you the details about which one it is.”

They disconnected the call, and Bucky picked Alpine up and spun her around as he danced around the apartment. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn’t care. He’d talked to Steve, and his best friend missed him. They’d made plans to hang out when he was back. It was a really, really good sign. Alpine, however, didn’t seem that excited about it, but Bucky ascribed that to her empty food bowl.

The next day, he headed to Steve’s apartment and let himself inside after emptying Steve’s mailbox. He set the mail down on the kitchen counter and headed to Steve’s office. He pulled the top drawer open as he sat and found the file right away. Shuffling through the clippings, he was reminded how talented his best friend was and how accomplished he’d become in the art world. He had just sent Steve a scan of the specific clipping he needed when he spied an envelope peeking out from under a notebook. He hesitated for a few seconds, but his curiosity got the better of him.

His eyes went soft when he saw the contents. Inside was an assortment of photographs from throughout their lives, and Steve and he were the subject of every one of them. There was Steve as a scrawny six-year-old with a missing front tooth exposed by a wide grin and a black eye. Bucky stood next to him with a massive grin on his face and an arm slung over his shoulder. There was another of their high school graduation, caps askew, but standing together with their diplomas. A trip to Coney Island when they were thirteen. Christmas their sophomore year of college. His sister’s wedding when Steve went as his date because Natasha couldn’t attend. Their whole life together was in Bucky’s hands, and Steve had it carefully curated in a collection.

Overwhelmed with memories of their friendship, Bucky picked up his phone and followed the scanned images with a message.

**To SGR BFF:** Miss you, punk. See you next weekend.


	10. Every Rose, Lots of Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's home from LA. A reunion's in order.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky has no chill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: B3; Poison  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

As the end of the week neared, Bucky grew more and more nervous. He had trouble concentrating for extended periods of time, and he spent the entirety of Friday afternoon cleaning his apartment and manscaping. By the time Steve showed up, he was a bundle of nerves. Which was just dumb. He was acting like Steve was his boyfriend.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve called as he let himself into the apartment. “I brought dinner.”

Bucky glanced up and took a deep breath. Steve was here and looking damn fine in a pair of dark jeans and ice blue sweater that highlighted his eyes. The bag of food from their favorite Thai takeout place didn’t hurt either. Bucky knew they should talk. They really, really should, but Bucky had missed his best friend. Maybe it was okay to just enjoy a normal night.

“Is that—?”

“Red curry, noodles, spicy shrimp soup, and fried rice. And yes, those things you love so much.”

“I _do_ love those things so much,” Bucky said, his eyes lit with excitement. “And they’re called thot man khao phot.”

“Dude, stop being so smug,” Steve responded. “They’re corn fritters.”

“They’re _delicious_!”

Steve smiled and tugged Bucky into a hug. For the briefest moment, Bucky relaxed into him, snug against his chest, and breathed in Steve’s familiar scent. He’d always been a combination of freshly laundered clothing, musk, and home, and Bucky wanted to stay nestled against him forever.

“Plates or cartons?” Steve asked as he let Bucky go.

“Cartons.”

“Table or couch?”

“Couch.”

“Beer or wine?”

“Beer.

“Movie or music?”

“Music.”

Steve grinned and snagged a couple of bottles from the fridge. He nodded to the food, indicating Bucky should carry it into the living room, and declared, “This is why we’re friends. You just get me.”

They settled on the couch, and Bucky stuffed down the memories of Halloween night and the gold bikini and Steve inside him and Steve emptying himself into Bucky and— Right. Thai food and beer and music on the couch.

“I get you because we’ve known each other since you were an annoying playground justice warrior with a bad attitude and a size problem.”

Steve quirked his eyebrow and paused before taking a sip of beer. “Playground justice warrior? That’s a thing?”

“You were a thing. All spit and piss and vinegar in a tiny bottle of fury. I must have pulled you out of a fight four days a week,” Bucky reminisced. “You grew up good, Rogers.”

“Puberty was kind to me,” Steve confirmed, and Bucky snorted his response.

“That’s one way to put it. Fuck! This is good.”

Bucky gulped down a mouthful of noodles and soup and corn fritters and washed it all down with a huge gulp of beer. They devoured the meal, eating out of the containers each held, reaching in with chopsticks and feeding the other a few times. Bucky drained his beer and grabbed another round for them. Then, Steve snatched the next. They kept drinking and eating and before long, they were sprawled on the couch together. Full and happy and a little drunk, they laughed and joked and sang along to 80s metal bands and relived a little bit of their childhoods. It was so good to have Steve home again.

“AC/DC. Hands down,” Steve argued, but Bucky protested.

“Oh, come on. Bon Jovi’s clearly the best hair band.”

“They have a kick ass _Greatest Hits_ album,” Steve agreed, “but ‘Thunderstruck’. I mean, that’s just the best song of the hair bands era.”

“Like ‘Living on a Prayer’ isn’t amazing. I think I might have lost my virginity to that song.”

Steve blinked at him a few times and drawled, “Not when it was first released. You would have been about three. I mean, I know you’re an overachiever, but that’s pushing it for even the great Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky smiled lazily. He’d been a bit of a lady killer when he was younger. That part was true, but then he’d gone to college and experimented and figured out he was into men, too. It wasn’t his fault he’d been able to date about anyone he wanted. None of them had ever stuck, though, except his friendship with Natasha. Steve had been there to help him through every breakup, even though he’d disliked most of them.

“Definitely not when it first came out, and that was with a woman. The first time I was with a man was to ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’.”

Steve gulped the last of his beer and lolled his head to face Bucky. His eyes darkened, and his gaze flickered from Bucky’s down to his lips. “Poison. Love them.”

“‘Unskinny Bop’ was my jam back in the day.”

“Just blows me away,” Steve murmured.

Bucky gulped and glanced down at Steve’s lap. They were both a little drunk, and Bucky didn’t care if what he was about to offer was stupid or not. Horny as hell, Bucky considered Steve—hot and just tipsy enough to let go of his control freak factor—and licked his lips.

“You coming onto me, Buck?” Steve asked, his voice a low rumble in his chest.

Bucky smirked and asked with a wink, “Is it working?”

“Little bit.”

“Yeah?”

“Lot bit.”

“How big’s that lot?”

Steve held Bucky’s gaze as he unbuttoned his pants and unzipped his fly and pulled himself free. “You tell me.”

“Looks big enough to fill me up real nice, Rogers.”

“Yeah?”

His brain screamed at him, but Bucky didn’t listen. Instead, he blinked slowly several times and gave into the situation. Too much beer, really good food, and the familiarity of his best friend next to him were too much to resist. Head spinning, he leaned over and kissed Steve. As his mouth opened and Steve’s tongue swept inside, he gripped Steve’s cock and stroked.


	11. Ruin Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn't want to talk. Bucky doesn't either. Instead, they decide to use their mouths for other things.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky doesn't mind a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: C1; Kink: Messy/Dirty  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Steve groaned as Bucky’s hand closed over his dick and squeezed. Bucky stroked several times, smiling into their kiss as Steve fell apart against him.

“You like that?” Bucky rumbled low in his throat, and Steve whined into his mouth. “You like my hand tight on your cock, jerking nice and slow and pulling it out of you until you can’t even think?”

“Bucky,” Steve panted, his eyes screwed closed. “God, sweetheart. You always know exactly how to make me feel so good.”

Beer buzzed in his veins, and Bucky licked into Steve’s mouth. He wanted to dive right in, but he thought it might be nice if he ran some things by Steve first. They were both loose and relaxed and comfortable. It was the perfect opportunity to take some chances they hadn’t tried before tonight. Besides, Steve kept coming back. The gold bikini hadn’t scared him away. The blowjob while Nat jerked him off hadn’t made Steve run. The month apart hadn’t done the trick. If he could handle all those things, then what harm was some really dirty, filthy sex?

No harm at all, he deftly decided. Breaking the kiss, he put his lips to Steve’s ear and whispered his lewdest thoughts until Steve squirmed under him. His hips jutted upward, fucking into Bucky’s fist at the lascivious words falling from his tongue, and Bucky grinned at Steve’s enthusiastic response.

“You on board with all that, Stevie?” Bucky teased as the tip of his tongue traced the shell of Steve’s ear. When the only answer was a throaty whine, Bucky slid to his knees in front of the couch and settled between Steve’s legs. Working with the denim, Bucky prodded Steve to lift his hips so Bucky could strip him from the waist down. He ordered Steve to unbutton his shirt but didn’t instruct him to shrug it off. Bucky licked his lips at the sight of Steve sprawled out with his cock jutting upward proudly, long legs splayed, and stomach taut and rippling. Bucky tugged Steve to the edge of the couch, propped his legs up on Bucky’s shoulders, and then ducked his head.

“Bucky!” Steve shouted when the tip of Bucky’s tongue licked at his puckered skin. Bucky nose nudged at Steve’s taint, pressing into it and nuzzling Steve’s balls. He stayed patient, licking and pressing over and over until Steve loosened the slightest bit. Bucky massaged the furled muscle with the tip of his middle finger, slowly working Steve open while he licked at Steve’s balls and shaft. It took ages, but Steve eventually opened for him, pulling Bucky’s fingers in and making the sweetest, neediest little grunts until Bucky sucked the head of Steve’s dick into his mouth.

Steve writhed, kicking at the air, but Bucky pressed Steve’s legs open so his knees were flat against the cushions. Bucky curled his finger and was rewarded with a strangled shout when he massaged Steve’s prostate. They’d both had too much to drink because neither of them were rock hard, despite what they were doing, so Bucky decided to double down.

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he suggested, his voice raspy. Steve allowed himself to be hauled to his feet and pulled down the hallway. Bucky pushed him onto the bed and then crawled onto the mattress next to him. Kissing along the cut of Steve’s hip, Bucky straddled Steve’s chest and adjusted himself until Steve took Bucky’s dick in his mouth. Then he did the same, sucking Steve’s cock and working him open with his fingers.

It’d been ages since Bucky’d 69ed, and it felt amazing. Steve’s mouth was always the perfect mix of wet heat and enthusiastic zeal, and he loved getting his hands on Bucky’s ass. This time was no different. Bucky had to work to stay focused and not go too far. He had plans for Steve, and they involved every type of dirty play he could imagine that they’d actually enjoy.

Bucky allowed Steve to slip from his mouth. “Steve,” he gasped. “Stevie, listen to me.”

“Bucky, sweetheart. Oh, fuck. You’re so sweet. Your mouth…”

“Work me open, sweetheart. Get me ready for you.”

A gratified moan rumbled in Steve’s throat when he swallowed Bucky again. It took a few more seconds, but Bucky soon felt Steve’s blunt fingers pressing against him, insistent and probing. Bucky reared back against him and kept sucking. Steve was close, and Bucky needed Steve to climax in his mouth. It felt like a personal affront that it took quite a while to get Steve completely rigid, and, even then, Bucky had to employ a lot of slobber and a healthy amount of lube to Steve’s asshole before Bucky’s cock fell free and Steve roared his approval as he throbbed and pumped into Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky sucked Steve dry. When he was sure he’d milked him as much as possible, he scrambled to flip himself and find Steve’s mouth. They kissed frantically, Steve’s release smearing on their faces as they batted it back and forth with their tongues and lips. Their chins and necks were covered with cum and spit, and Bucky wiped it down Steve’s neck and chest.

Steve’s hands wouldn’t stay still. They were all over Bucky’s body, frantically grabbing, rubbing, stroking, and plying him open. Bucky swiped spittle and spunk off Steve’s chin and reached down to smear it over Steve’s hole. Steve opened his legs for him, fucking himself on Bucky’s fingers and begging for more.

“Can you get hard again for me, Stevie? Can you get that fat cock all stiff and aching? Because I want to sit on it. I want to get you so crazy you forget your own fucking name, and then I want to ride your cock so hard I shoot my load all over your face. I want to come so much I can paint a mural with it because you’re covered all over.

Steve’s eyes bugged open, his face and chest pink, and his expression matching Bucky’s crude words. “What’s gotten into you?” he grunted as he snapped his hips to the rhythm of Bucky’s fingers inside him. “You’ve never been like this with me.”

Bucky curled his fingers inside again, and Steve’s spent dick twitched with interest. “Why? Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck, no. I love you this way. It’s— You’re— God, I want to do this every day for the rest of my life,” Steve groaned. “I want you riding my cock until you can’t walk. I want you to ruin me.”

Bucky smiled at Steve’s declaration and kept working. They were going to be okay. They had to be if Steve wanted this to continue long term. Eventually, Steve was hard again, and Bucky twisted himself so he could straddle Steve and lower himself onto the hard shaft. He bent backward, shoving his arm behind him and plugged Steve up again. Then he started to move.

Steve was blissed out, his mouth slack and eyes so blown only a thin rim of blue outlined his pupils. His body quivered and shook at Bucky’s assault on his cock and prostate. Steve had never been quiet in the bedroom, but he was louder than loud. Every time Bucky slid down him or wiggled his fingers, Steve responded. His shouts split the air and turned Bucky on even more than he already was. Tears streaked Steve’s cheeks, and Bucky rode him harder. Steve’s body convulsed and rippled until he froze and melted. The sound that ripped from him made Bucky’s cock jump.

Bucky knew he didn’t have much time, so he leaned forward and pressed both hands down on Steve’s chest. Grinding and thrusting, he rode Steve’s softening erection until he felt his own balls draw tight.

“Look at me, Stevie,” Bucky ordered and grabbed his cock. “Watch me jacking off onto your chest.”

Steve fought hard to focus, and he eventually latched onto the movement of Bucky’s arm, tugging and jerking while he rocked his hips. Fire tore through his veins, and he whined as he leaned forward. Then he was coming, spurting white stripes over Steve’s chest, neck, and face. He’d barely finished when he pressed himself against Steve and licked his own release from his best friend’s chin. Fluid dripped from Bucky’s hole as Steve softened completely and fell free. They were sticky and filthy and disgusting, and Bucky wanted to do it all over again.

Neither of them moved for a long while other than Steve stroking Bucky’s hair off his neck and pressing weak kisses against sweaty skin. As they dried, the fluid crusted on their skin, but neither made any effort to pull away from the other.

“Hey,” Steve finally said, and Bucky lifted his head. With a rueful grin, Steve cupped Bucky’s jaw and pulled him into a slow, lingering kiss. “I kinda thought the gold bikini was your pinnacle, but you’ve eclipsed it twice since then.”

“Twice?”

“A spontaneous threesome and then this… Whatever this was. You’re a dirty little minx, aren’t you, Buck?”

Bucky grinned and pressed his mouth to Steve’s again. “I’m not the one who still has his shirt on, although it’s looking worse for the wear. And I think someone—someone whose first name starts with St and ends with eve—might be just as vulgar as I am.”

“I really think we only have two choices.”

“What’s that?”

“I think we either need to take a shower and go to sleep or…”

“Or?”

Steve looked down at himself and raised mischievous eyes. “Or we go get that bottle of bourbon you’ve been saving for a special occasion and get completely plastered and then take shots off each other’s stomachs.”

“Fuck, Rogers. I’m not twenty anymore.”

“No, but think about what you know now that you wish you had at that age.”

Bucky considered briefly, but he wasn’t about to push Steve away when he was initiating intimacy. He glanced down at his debauched best friend and made his decision.

“Don’t move. I’ll be back in thirty seconds.”

It only took twenty.


	12. Plenty of Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. Hangovers suck.
> 
> Or 
> 
> Steve's had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: U5; "Ive Got Nothin'"  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Bucky woke to a loud groan, and things didn’t get any better after that. He was positive something had crawled into his mouth and died, and every part of him was sore and coated in some form of nasty. His head pounded, and he was sticking to both the sheets and a whole lot of bare skin.

“What. The actual. Fuck?” he grumbled as he attempted to free himself.

“What the hell did we do last night?”

Steve sounded worse than Bucky felt, and he looked even more terrible. His hair stuck up in every conceivable direction, and his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. Streaks of a white, flaky substance littered his skin, and Bucky caught sight of the empty bottle of bourbon tipped over on his side table.

It all came back to him in a rush. The Thai food and beer. Steve on the couch. Moving to the bedroom. Sucking each other off at the same time. Snowballing Steve’s orgasm until it coated both their faces. Getting Steve hard again. Riding him rough and dirty. Coating Steve with Bucky’s own release. Grabbing the bourbon. Drinking it off each other. Pouring it down each other’s throats until they were both blackout drunk. Passing out together after half-hearted attempts at mutual masturbation with flaccid dicks. Bucky’s bed was a disaster, and neither of them were much better.

“I think I might be dead,” Bucky groaned. He grimaced as he detached himself from Steve’s side. Rubbing his nipple, he winced at the rawness now that he was free.

“Pretty sure being dead would feel better. My head hurts so goddamn much.”

“Give me a minute, and I’ll make some coffee.”

“What day is it?”

Bucky barked a laugh and immediately regretted it when his head felt like it would split in two. “I’m not even sure, but I think it’s the weekend. God, I hope it is. We wouldn’t be that irresponsible to get that fucked up on a work night, would we?”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve ever been very smart around you, anyway.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“God, Buck,” Steve groaned. “You know exactly what I mean. You turn me into a total moron.”

Bucky sat up and glared. “I wasn’t aware I had that much power over you.”

“Are you serious?”

“I kind of figured you were an idiot all on your own.”

Steve inhaled sharply, and Bucky’s stomach fell. This wasn’t what he wanted. He should have kept his mouth shut or tried to actually work things out before they fell into bed together again the night prior. This was his best friend, not some rando at a party. Steve Rogers was the best thing in Bucky’s life besides Alpine, who was judging him from the doorway. If the entire situation weren’t so awful, he’d wonder how much he’d traumatized his cat the night before while Steve and he were fucking.

“I-I’m sorry,” he stammered. “That was mean.”

“That happens more often than not.”

Bucky reeled back like he’d been struck. It felt like he had. “That’s… harsh.”

Steve rolled his eyes and struggled to his feet. Looking around, he turned in confused circles several times before grabbing his flannel shirt and holding it in front of him. The fact that it was balled up into the size of a softball meant it did absolutely nothing to hide anything. Not that Bucky hadn’t seen it all dozens of times already. Or ridden it like a pony.

“You know what else is harsh?” Steve threw over his shoulder as he marched down the hall to the living room. Bucky scrambled along behind him hopping on one leg as he dragged a pair of boxer briefs up his legs. He was about to reply when Steve continued. “You not going to the Halloween party with me. The way you blow me off when you find something better to do. Acting like nothing we do together is important. All harsh.”

Bucky watched in disbelief as Steve grabbed his jeans and snapped them repeatedly in an attempt to make sure they were right side out. “You’re the one who left that night!” Bucky sputtered. Absolutely floored that Steve was trying to turn this back on him, he gesticulated wildly as his face reddened. “And then you went flying off to LA.”

“And if I’d stayed?” Steve challenged. “We would have ended up like this? Hungover and covered in… God, I don’t even know what all’s on me. It’s disgusting, whatever it is.”

“You weren’t too disgusted last night when you shot it down my throat.”

Steve tried to form a response, but he couldn’t get out any words. Finally, he threw up his hands and announced, “I’ve got nothin’.”

“You’ve—”

“That’s right. Nothing.”

Bucky recognized when things were spiraling out of control, and this was definitely it. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, but Steve was past the point of return. “Steve, let’s at least have some coffee and talk.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna pass,” he said. He shrugged on his shirt and stepped into his jeans. He didn’t bother to slip on his shoes. Instead, he simply scooped them up and headed for the door.

“You’re gonna pass?! Are you effing _serious_?”

Steve stopped with his hand on the doorknob, but he wouldn’t even turn around. “I can’t do this right now. Not when there’s so much at stake. I’m hungover and feel like shit, and you’re too important to me to try to make sense of this right now.”

“Steve, that’s why—”

“Buck, we’re clearly not on the same page. You won’t be seen in public at a party with me, but you have no problem dressing up as my all-time fantasy and seducing me. I tried to give you space, and then I walked in on you getting a hand job from your ex—our friend!—and then you—we—did all that last night. I can’t stay on this roller coaster. You’re my best friend, and I love you. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You won’t even look at me.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped, but he didn’t turn. He remained stubbornly facing the door, and Bucky felt his world tilt. Almost thirty years of friendship crumbled in front of his eyes.

“I can’t.”

“I screwed up that badly, huh?” Bucky asked with tears choking his voice.

Softly, Steve responded, “Maybe. I think we both did. Actually, I think _I_ did. I’m sorry.”

It hurt. Steve didn’t want to continue this, and Bucky thought he might die.

“You should go, then.”

Bucky hoped maybe Steve would fight for them as hard as he’d fought bullies on the playground when they were younger, but that didn’t happen. Instead, Steve opened the door, passed through, and closed it behind him.


	13. Moral Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky can't deal with Steve's rejection, so he agrees to meet Natasha for Brunch. She and Sam have a plan to get things back on track.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky gets strong-armed. (Pun intended.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: K2; Upgrade  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

“She called me,” Sam explained as he joined Bucky and Natasha at the diner. “Just here for moral support.”

Bucky sighed and slumped further into the booth. He took another sip of coffee and winced as he burned his tongue on the hot liquid. He shouldn’t be surprised. Besides himself, Sam was Steve’s closest friend. If anyone could help him figure out what was wrong, Sam could.

“I tried to talk to him,” Bucky grumbled defensively. “He wouldn’t even sit down or stay for a cup of coffee. He just lost his temper and told me he couldn’t ‘do this’ anymore. I’m not really sure what ‘this’ is. Are we not friends anymore? No more benefits? Are we even going to talk? I have no idea.”

Bucky thought he was holding it together pretty well considering he felt like his insides were being twisted into something that slightly resembled a monster rather than himself. He hadn’t cried. He was too numb for that. Instead, he’d calmly taken a shower, made himself breakfast, and then called Nat when he felt like he was going to vomit. How she managed to convince him to leave his apartment, he wasn’t sure, but here he was.

“I called him. He’s being stubborn and won’t talk, but that’s to be expected. He’s pretty upset. I mentioned Nat had called me, and he got fairly agitated and said something about a threesome and hung up. I’ll admit I’m a little lost, but the threesome idea sounds kind of intriguing.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam’s dialogue. “No more threesomes.”

“Wait. There _was_ a threesome? What in the hell did I miss?”

Natasha looked at him coolly and asked, “Can we please continue? What my ex-boyfriend and I do together is really no one’s business. Maybe Steve’s a little bit, but no one else’s.”

Sam’s eyes bugged. “You two?” When they nodded, he asked, “And Steve?”

“It was rather accidental,” Nat sniffed.

“How is a threesome accidental?” Sam huffed. “Please, let me know, because I’d like to stumble into one myself.”

“Can we maybe focus on my life falling apart? You know, since I’m the one with the crisis.”

“Man, you’re the one who got it on with Steve and Nat. I think I’m the one that needs help.”

The waitress came and set food down on the table and failed miserably at pretending she hadn’t overheard their conversation. She asked if they needed anything else and fled when they confirmed they were fine.

“Bucky Bear, I think we need to change tactics,” Nat suggested through a mouthful of pancakes. “I know the reality is that you two should hash this out, but Steve’s clearly not up for cooperating right now.”

“I didn’t know we had tactics to change.”

“Of course we did. Well, I did, and now we need new ones.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

Sam and Nat looked at each other and nodded. It was subtle, but Bucky knew them better than almost anyone. He could read body language blindfolded better than most people could with both eyes open. Sam hadn’t been kidding when he said she’d called him. The two had obviously discussed his situation _ad nauseum_.

“An upgrade.”

“A what?”

“Let me be blunt. I think you should go out with someone else.”

Bucky blinked. “Can you repeat that, please?”

She sighed heavily and took her time chewing and sipping her coffee before answering. “I think,” she enunciated, “that you should go out on date. With someone other than your best friend.”

“Steve and I aren’t dating.”

Sam snorted. “Barnes, you and Steve are in each other’s pockets all the time. Friends with benefits only works for so long, and you two passed that about 100 years ago.”

“We—”

“James,” Nat chided gently, “Steve says he can’t do this anymore. I’d suggest you see what the other options are out there. Then you’ll know if you even want to try to patch things up with Steve.”

“But—”

“A guy I was in the service with is in town. He’s good-looking and funny and single. He’s working the next few days, but next Friday, you two have dinner reservations,” Sam added.

Bucky gaped at both of them. They hadn’t even bothered to ask how he felt about it all. Instead, they’d arranged for a rendezvous with a stand-in and coerced him into it. “I don’t even get to know the dude’s name?”

“Riley. He’s a great guy. It’s just dinner, and you can thank me at the wedding if it works out for you two.”

Bucky had no idea what to say, and it didn’t seem to matter either way. He swallowed his irritation along with his breakfast and mentally prepared himself for the possibility of life without Steve and a date with a man he didn’t know. The only other thing on the agenda was burning his sheets, and possibly his couch, when he returned home.


	14. Blindsided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky follows through on Nat and Sam's plan. To his surprise, he enjoys him, but he still misses Steve.
> 
> Or
> 
> Steve. Is. Pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: C2; Blind Date  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes); Bucky Barnes & Riley

Bucky checked his hair for what might have been the hundredth time before exiting the bathroom and heading out the door. He regretted agreeing to Sam and Nat’s plan, but it had been a week since Steve walked out. Bucky hadn’t heard from him since. They’d been best friends since first grade, so going without seeing Steve for that long when they were in the same city was unusual. Not getting a phone call or a text or a drop-in visit was unthinkable. Except it clearly wasn’t because it had happened.

Sam assured him Steve was pouting. Bucky wasn’t sure he cared. It was total bullshit, and Bucky had forced himself to stop minding. The problem was that wasn’t possible. Still, Riley sounded like a nice guy, and he needed something to take his mind off how shitty he felt being abandoned by his best friend and former…whatever it was Steve was or had been or whatever. He was really too hurt to decide.

Bucky arrived at the restaurant right on time. Riley, wearing a blue sweater and sitting at the bar, was early. Nervous and fidgeting, Bucky crossed the room.

“Riley?”

He turned, and Bucky had to swallow a gasp. The guy was good-looking. Really, really good looking, with sandy blonde hair and green eyes and a kind, interested smile. He greeted Bucky with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek and ushered him to their table with self-assured confidence that made Bucky envious.

“Sam told me you were handsome, but he definitely undersold you,” Riley said. “I guess that’s what I get for having a straight best friend.”

Bucky blushed and ducked his head, but he mumbled his thanks with a pleased smile. “Sam’s a good guy, as much as it pains me to admit it.”

“You two have a love-hate relationship?” When Bucky nodded, Riley grinned and leaned back in his seat. “That doesn’t surprise me. He’s got a smart mouth and enough arrogance for ten people, but he’s also smart and funny and loyal and kind. I keep putting up with him for some reason.”

“Sounds kind of like my best friend. He’s a total asshole, but we’ve been through so much together…” Bucky trailed into silence. It felt like he’d only now realized that Steve might not live up to that label anymore. Swallowing hard, Bucky covered his mouth and blinked a few times. His emotions bubbled way too close to the surface, and that surprised him.

Riley made a sympathetic sound and nudged Bucky’s whiskey toward him. “Sounds like there’s a story there. You want to talk about it?”

“No,” Bucky snapped and was immediately contrite. “Sorry. I mean, I don’t really want to, no. My relationship with Steve is…complicated. It’s part of why I’m here with you.”

“Ah… Sam said something about moving on, but I didn’t realize it was quite so fresh.”

“Doesn’t seem very fair to you,” Bucky muttered apologetically.

Riley tipped his glass before taking a sip of the amber liquid. “I’m only in town for a few days. It’s not like you’re breaking my heart. Although, if I did live here, I think this Steve character might have some competition.”

“Really?”

He didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but his self-confidence had taken a beating over the past couple of weeks. It seemed a little out of the blue that someone so handsome and kind was attracted to him after only a few minutes of conversation.

“Bucky, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve seen in years.”

“Oh…”

“And your bashfulness is really fucking endearing, so that makes you about a thousand times hotter.”

“I—”

Unable to speak, Bucky simply stared as a dopey grin twitched on his lips.

“Tell me about him.”

“You know what? I don’t think I really want to waste that much energy on him. I’ll give you the abridged version.” He paused as the waiter brought their food and then provided the shortest synopsis he could. “Best friend since we were kids. He’s gay; I’m bi. A few years ago, we’d both been single for a while, and we got bored. Friends with benefits situation developed, but it got complicated around Halloween. He won’t talk to me right now. Got a bee up his ass or something.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Bucky shrugged and leaned forward. “Same, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Besides, I’m here with you right now, and that seems like something much more interesting. Although he does have a _glorious_ ass…”

The rest of the meal passed quickly as they laughed and talked and got to know each other. Bucky liked him way more than he’d expected to, and he felt a little twinge of regret when he remembered Riley was only in town temporarily. By the time their date was over, Bucky realized he wanted it to continue.

“Can I walk you home?” Riley asked, and Bucky nodded eagerly. They held hands as they strolled along, swinging them gently in the empty space, and exchanged stories about Sam that made the other laugh. When they got to his building, Bucky stopped and shifted from foot to foot.

“Do you want to come up?” he asked. He hoped Riley would refuse almost as much as Bucky wanted him to agree. While Riley nodded, Bucky tugged him to the elevator and pushed the button for his floor. The elevator moved quickly, rising the four floors in a matter of seconds, and they were to his door before he could think.

Riley kissed him as Bucky slipped the key into the lock, and they stumbled into the darkened apartment together. They were so wrapped up in each other that neither of them realized they weren’t alone. It wasn’t until a cough echoed through the room that Bucky snapped his gaze to the couch. Lit by a small lamp and glowering at the pair sat Steve, and he looked absolutely furious.


	15. Was It Worth It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finally lets it go, and Bucky finds the lightbulbs over his head.
> 
> Or
> 
> Everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: B2; Misunderstandings  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Steve’s face sent a chill through Bucky. Riley’s green eyes bulged in surprise, and he stood in front of Bucky as if to protect him from what he must have thought was an intruder.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asked, but Steve didn’t answer.

“I didn’t realize you’d have company, or I wouldn’t have agreed to come up,” Riley said, and Bucky winced.

“I didn’t either,” Bucky replied, his apology ringing in his answer. “I had a really good time, but I think I’d better take a raincheck.”

Riley turned and studied him. Bucky tried to apologize with his expression, but there wasn’t any way to explain the complexity of the situation without taking a while. Bucky didn’t have long. From the look of it, he had about thirty seconds before Steve blew his top. He accepted a kiss on his cheek and promised to call before closing the door behind his date and turning to face the fury that was Steve Rogers.

“Was it worth it?”

Steve’s voice rumbled from him in a dangerous snarl. Bucky considered approaching him, but he wasn’t sure how things had changed since that morning Steve walked out and left Bucky alone. Frozen, he stood with his hand on the doorknob and wondered how in the world things had gotten so bad that he was worried about talking to his best friend.

“Was what worth it?” His voice shook when he answered, but he forced himself to keep his gaze steady.

“Your date.”

“My date?”

“Yes, you jerk. Your date. Was it worth it to go out on a blind date with a stranger when things have been so fucked up between us?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes and glared. “How’d you know it was a blind date?”

“Never seen that guy before in my life. You always tell me when you meet someone new, and let’s face it. You haven’t exactly been the life of the party the past couple of months.” Steve pressed his lips into a thin line before rising and stalking toward Bucky. When he reached the door, he crowded Bucky against the wall and bit out his question. “Was. It. Worth. It?”

“Was _what_ worth _what_?!”

“Was going out on a date with a guy you barely know worth losing me?”

Bucky’s mouth went dry, and he blinked rapidly. He couldn’t have heard what he just did. Steve would never say those words to him, but he couldn’t figure out what else they meant. “I don’t understand.”

Steve’s eyes blazed, and he vibrated with anger. “Then let me give you a rundown.”

“Okay,” Bucky breathed. No matter how furious Steve was, Bucky definitely appreciated how gorgeous his best friend was in his current state.

“I’m in love with you, asshole,” Steve spat. “I’ve been in love with you since I first figured out what that meant, and I’ve been as patient and understanding as I can possibly be. Friends with benefits is total bullshit because you are everything to me, but I don’t know how to tell you what I need. I didn’t think you’d want the same thing. You were so…different on Halloween, but you’ve been completely erratic the past several weeks. First Nat and then that last time—”

“Steve—”

“Shut up, Buck. I’m talking.”

“I—”

“No, not you. Me! I’m the one who’s been trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you for the past two decades. I love you, and you’ve given me a million mixed messages.” Flustered, Steve ran his fingers through his hair and tugged at it. “So, forget it. I was right to leave last time, and it was stupid to think we could make a go of this.”

“But—”

Steve cut him a glare that would have sliced straight through Bucky if it was a laser. Livid, Steve pushed Bucky out of the way and opened the door. He stepped across the threshold and hesitated for only a second before choking out his farewell.

“Goodbye, Bucky.”

“But, Steve! Wait!”

“I’m not waiting. I’m done doing that. Have a good life.” Bucky watched as Steve’s rangy frame stormed down the hall. Stunned, he gaped after the surly figure before closing the door and leaning back against it.

Steve was in love with him.

Steve Rogers, his best friend, had just confessed real feelings for Bucky and then walked away from him. His best friend never ran from anything in his life—except Bucky every time they got in a massive fight.

Steve was in love with him. That meant—

Steve was _in love_ with him.

“Oh, shit!” he whispered. Alpine perked up from the windowsill and stretched. Glaring at him, she turned her back and went to sleep.

_Steve was in love with him_!

“What. The. _Fuck_?!!!”

Alpine meowed loudly, and Bucky stumbled over to her. He scratched her ears and demanded, “What does this mean?”

In a split second, Bucky knew. If Steve was in love with him, that meant the benefits they’d shared as friends weren’t that at all. They were a way for Steve to show Bucky how much he meant to him. Sex wasn’t just a release for his best friend. It’d been the best way Steve could be close to Bucky without being rejected, and he hadn’t even realized.

Lightbulbs went off over his head. Steve inside him when he told Bucky that it was “everything.” Natasha questioning if Bucky wanted more. Sam asking why they’d never dated. Bucky’s own admission to Riley how special Steve was to him.

Bucky swore so loudly Alpine jumped. “ _That’s_ why he was so upset I wouldn’t go to the Halloween party with him. He… I… You _knew_! How did _I_ not know?” Bucky pointed a scolding finger at Alpine, who had the audacity to roll onto her side and push her belly up for a friendly rub. He gave her one quick pat before heading to the door.

“Sorry, girl. I have a friendship to save and a hell of a lot more besides. Be back later. Don’t wait up.”

Bucky slammed the door behind him. Alpine merely watched and then jumped down to pad silently across the floor. She was used to Bucky’s surly moods and dramatics. After a few minutes, she yawned widely, curled up in a ball, and fell asleep.


	16. Downright Idiotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky on a mission. Steve doesn't stand a chance.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky and Steve finally communicate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: B1; "It wasn't worth it."  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Bucky sprinted to the stairs and ran down them three at a time. He burst into the lobby and beelined to the door. Steve wasn’t on the sidewalk, but Bucky was sure he was headed home. He ran at first and then slowed to a quick trot. He needed a few extra minutes to figure out what he was going to say. The blocks passed beneath his feet quickly until he stopped in front of Steve’s building. Shaking, Bucky made his way to Steve’s apartment and knocked loudly.

“Go away!”

“Open the door, or I’ll use my key.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Too bad, jackass! Let me in.”

Bucky heard a door slam inside and rolled his eyes. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and used his to slip into Steve’s apartment.

“Steven Grant Rogers, get your ass in here!” he roared.

“Fuck off!”

“You stubborn mule,” he muttered and strode down the hallway to Steve’s bedroom. Ripping the door open, he stalked in and pointed at Steve who was huddled on the bed fuming. “Sometimes you’re a shitty friend.”

“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you,” Steve repeated, but Bucky could tell he was close to losing it. Tears shone in his eyes, and his face was set in the most miserable expression Bucky’d ever seen. The sight of Steve Rogers brokenhearted almost ended him.

“Well, too fucking bad. You don’t get to drop that bullshit on me and leave without giving me a chance to respond. Now, shut the hell up and listen, you self-righteous idiot.”

Steve glared at him, but his lips were trembling. Tears spilled over as he blinked, and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Bucky ached to wipe them free.

“It wasn’t worth it.”

Confused, Steve shook his head. “What wasn’t?”

“It wasn’t worth it to go out on a date with a stranger if it means losing you.”

“Huh. Funny how that works. Should have thought of that before you—”

“Will you stop? Holy hell, Rogers. You’re so damn mule headed you can’t listen for five seconds.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I love you, too!” Bucky shouted, and they both froze.

Steve blinked furiously and sniffled. He tried to speak, but he couldn’t get anything out for several seconds. “You… Huh?”

“I love you,” Bucky repeated. He wasn’t exactly sure when it had happened, but he was positive it was true. Friends with benefits hadn’t been working for them because they weren’t just friends, and neither of them wanted only the benefits. They wanted each other. “I love you. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before, but I missed you like crazy when you were gone, and I was terrified you were going to abandon me. I was upset on Halloween because I wanted you to stay with me after we slept together. Because sex isn’t just sex with you. It’s more, and I _want_ more. I want us.”

“I… You were just with another man,” Steve accused in a huffed breath.

“Who asked me what was wrong, and the answer was about my best friend and how much he matters to me.”

“You kissed him.”

“I thought we were over. I was seeking solace. Besides, someone hadn’t called me back for an entire week.”

“And Nat.”

“Also upset. It’s not an excuse, but I’ll remind you that ended with my dick in your mouth.”

“You don’t.”

“I don’t what? Love you?” When Steve nodded, Bucky barked an exasperated laugh. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have been walking around like a moron the past few months and feeling like a kicked puppy every time I wasn’t with you. God, I was pathetic. I have no idea how I didn’t figure this out before. I’m supposed to be smart.”

“But—”

“Stevie,” Bucky said softly, “I love you so much. The thought of losing you has been driving me out of my mind the past few months, and that doesn’t make any sense at all unless I admit that I’m desperate to be with you. I’m sorry I hurt you by not going to the Halloween party. I was having a bad few days—almost had a panic attack buying the costume—so I knew I couldn’t handle being around a bunch of people. Only you. It’s always you.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?”

“You know that envelope of pictures you have in your desk drawer? The one that’s all us? I remember every one of those pictures. I love that we have such a long history together, and I adore that we’re both such idiots that either of us thought sex was something we could do without it getting complicated. Every time I kiss you, I want more. Friends with benefits.” He snorted and waved his hands in the air. “I’d like the benefit to be falling into bed with you for the rest of my life and never getting out again.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s just lust. You’re scared of losing our friendship.”

“Steve, lust is when you fuck someone and leave. I want to turn you on so much you lose yourself, and then I want to snuggle with you until we fall asleep afterward and then wake up together the next day and the next and the one after that. I want to be the one you come home to and the person you turn to when things are rough and I want to be that person for you, too. That’s not lust. That’s a lifetime commitment.”

Steve surveyed him with hope in his eyes, but his expression remained guarded. “I don’t know if I believe you.”

“Come here.” Bucky sat next to him and cupped Steve’s jaw in his palm. “I’m sorry I’ve been so completely clueless, but you know me. I’m emotionally stunted and a total mess. This is pretty in character for me.”

Steve smiled wryly. “You’re not a mess. You’re you.”

“And you love me.”

“I do love you.”

“You’ve loved me for years, and you didn’t tell me.”

“I was scared of losing you.”

“Huh,” Bucky said. “I know the feeling.”

Steve bit his lip, and another tear trickled down his cheek. He shook his head and sighed. “Well, fuck. I’ve been an idiot, too, haven’t I?”

Bucky leaned his forehead against Steve’s and breathed, “I think you know the answer to that, but yes. Don’t you ever hide something that big from me again, Rogers. Two decades and you didn’t tell me you were in love with me. That’s just asinine.”

Steve had the good grace to look ashamed. “You’re right. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

They sat together, both aware that things had changed dramatically in the past few minutes. Bucky traced Steve’s cheekbone with his thumb, and then tipped his head forward and brushed his lips against Steve’s.

“I love you, Buck,” Steve said, his lips and voice quivering.

“I know you do, Stevie. I feel exactly the same way.”

Words failed, but their kisses spoke for them. Sweet and gentle eventually turned to hot and steamy. Clothes fell, and skin fused. This time it wasn’t fucking or sex or benefits. This time they made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	17. Got Your Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve wake up together. Nose kisses are their favorite.
> 
> Or
> 
> Two boys in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: Y3; Nose Kisses  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)

Bucky woke up warm and fuzzy. Very warm and fuzzy. Nestled into Steve, he was safe and loved and cherished. He also needed to pee.

“Stevie,” Bucky mumbled, but Steve only grunted and tucked his leg tighter around Bucky’s hip. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he wiggled out of Steve’s grip.

“Come back.”

“I will. I just need a minute, sweetheart.” It didn’t take that long, but Steve pulled him back into his arms like Bucky’d been gone forever.

“Missed you.”

Bucky kissed Steve on the tip of his nose and chided, “I was away for five seconds.”

“Too long.”

“Mmm. That’s not the only thing that’s long.”

Steve snorted. “You are absolutely the horniest man I’ve ever met.”

“And?”

“And I adore you for it—among many, many, many other things.”

“Does that mean we’re gonna have morning sex?”

“Oh, hell yes.”

Bucky had always enjoyed sex—that had never been an issue—and he’d always enjoyed it with Steve. Now that they’d confessed how they felt to each other, everything was heightened. Steve’s hands on his skin branded him. Their mouths slid together, breath mingling, husky moans filling the void between them.

It was slow and sweet and then fast and rough. It was filthy and gentle and energetic and exhausting. It was everything and not nearly enough all at the same time. They tried new things and kept coming back to those that were tried and true. Neither of them wanted it to end. Ever.

Bucky discovered the bump on Steve’s nose was his favorite thing in the world and couldn’t stop kissing it. Steve realized he would die without nuzzling the spot behind Bucky’s left ear. They learned they enjoyed giving each other back rubs that devolved into hand jobs and that Steve wanted Bucky inside him as much as he loved filling up Bucky. By the time the sun set, they were completely spent, filthy, and starving.

“Come home with me,” Bucky requested as he brushed his nose against Steve’s. He kissed the tip again and again, absolutely smitten with the bashful way Steve responded to it. “I don’t want to go, but I have to feed Alpine. I ran out on her last night without thinking. I just wanted to get to you.”

“Do I have to get dressed?”

“As much as I enjoy seeing you naked, I think the city of New York frowns on indecent exposure.”

Steve flopped onto his back and mock grumbled, “Fine. I’ll put on clothes, but I won’t like it.”

“I’ll make it up to you after my cat rips me a new one.”

“Promise?”

“Uh huh, but can you just wear sweats and a tank? Because… and a backwards baseball cap.” Bucky exaggerated a sigh. “It’s my favorite look on you.”

“Really?”

He considered for a minute and then shook his head. “Well, you look fucking fantastic in a suit. And that gray sweater you put on when it’s really cold? I love that, especially with your black skinny jeans and boots. And that button down you have that’s dark green with hot pink pinstripes? You look great in that.”

“But other than that?”

“Well, other than that, you might as well go naked because you’re sexy as shit that way.”

Steve rolled over and smothered Bucky with kisses. Holding him down, Steve sucked on Bucky’s neck and collarbone while he tickled his sides and giggled. Bucky twisted and turned and tried to get away, but he enjoyed being held down so much that his very overworked dick perked up. When Steve slid down and took it in his mouth, Bucky gripped Steve’s hair and fucked so deep he hit the back of Steve’s throat.

“I have to go feed Alpine. Oh, shit. Don’t stop.”

He didn’t, then Bucky returned the favor, and it was almost midnight before they managed to get dressed and stumble along the blocks to Bucky’s apartment. They touched the whole way, paused often to kiss against the sides of buildings, and groped more than they should have in public. By the time they got to his place, they were desperate for each other again. Bucky had the wherewithal to dump some food in Alpine’s bowl and check her water before Steve had him naked, draped over the counter, and begging under Steve’s tongue.

“I cannot get hard again tonight,” Bucky groaned as they fell into his bed together. “You’re going to kill me if you keep this up.”

Steve grinned at him and nuzzled Bucky’s ear. “But what a way to go, right?”

“Stevie, I literally can’t,” he grunted. “I adore you, and I love you, but if you touch my dick again before morning, I will kick your ass.”

Steve tugged him closer and cradled Bucky against his chiseled chest. “I’ll settle for kissing. And talking. I like doing all sorts of things with you.”

Bucky sighed contentedly and broke into a grin when Alpine joined them on the bed. She walked up his body and sniffed him before pressing her nose to his. Then she did the same to Steve before curling into a ball and purring. Bucky stroked her fur and closed his eyes. He was exhausted, but really he just wanted a moment to shut out everything but Steve’s hard body and warm skin pressed to his.

“I can’t believe we’re actually together,” he sighed, and Steve murmured into Bucky’s hair. “You’re my… Are you my boyfriend now?”

“Unless you just want to jump right into getting married.”

“Uh…”

“Too soon?” Steve teased.

“Maybe, but we… That’s gonna happen at some point, isn’t it?”

Steve nudged Bucky’s nose and kissed the tip. He looked at Bucky and nodded firmly. “I’m all in, sweetheart. I’ve been all in since forever.”

Bucky swallowed hard. “That’s a lot, and I want every speck of it.”

“Hey, Buck.”

“Yeah, Stevie?”

“It wasn’t the bikini, and it wasn’t Nat.” It took him a second to realize Steve was referring to the question Bucky had asked him before he left for LA.

“What was it, then?”

“You know.”

“You thought I didn’t love you.”

“I know better now. I used to say things just to see if you’d figure it out, but you didn’t. Over and over and over, I felt like I was putting myself out there, and you saw and rejected me.” Steve hummed low in this throat. “I should have told you a long time ago, and I’m sorry for being too much of a coward.”

“I’m sorry for being clueless. No, that’s not it. I’m sorry for not thinking I was worth it. That you’d only want me as a friend and for meaningless sex. I’m sorry that I let my own issues get in the way of realizing how I felt about you and how you felt about me. That I’m worth being loved by someone who’s as wonderful as you are.”

They talked for a while longer, but both were worn out from the emotions and activities of the past two days. Bucky pressed his forehead against Steve’s and kissed him softly. He turned off the bedside light and snuggled under the covers and into his boyfriend’s arms. Friends with benefits had worked fine for a while, but Bucky preferred the advantages of having his best friend as so much more.

If Alpine’s purring was any indication, she felt exactly the same way.


	18. Quickly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha has an annoying way of showing up without much warning. That means Steve and Bucky only have time for a quickie.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky has a boyfriend!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: C5; Kink: Rushed Sex  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes); Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanoff & Sam Wilson

“Morning, baby.”

Bucky grinned and rolled over to nuzzle Steve’s neck. His boyfriend’s neck. Steve was his boyfriend. His _boyfriend_!!! After all this time and a life-long friendship, Steve Rogers had confessed he loved Bucky, and Bucky felt the very same way. It was a miracle, and Bucky had no intention of ever taking it for granted.

“I love you, Stevie,” he murmured and pressed open-mouthed kisses along Steve’s collarbone. Steve moaned at the sensation, but it was ruined by Bucky’s phone vibrating and ringing on his bedside table. “Dammit.”

“Are you gonna answer?” Steve asked, but it wasn’t a fair question. His hands were stroking along Bucky’s skin, and the friction made Bucky want to jump him. He fully intended to ignore the phone, but as soon as it fell silent, it began to ring again. Bucky swore and snatched it.

“What?” he barked.

“Hello to you, too, James.”

“Nat. What do you want?”

“I thought I’d check on you. We hadn’t heard from you since your date with Riley, and we worry.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, how’d it go?”

Bucky grunted as Steve’s palm glanced over his hip and curled around to palm his ass. He squeezed and kneaded the muscle, and Bucky thought he might die when Steve glanced the pad of his middle finger over the puffy skin of Bucky’s hole. It’d been worked hard the past 36 hours, but he still wanted more.

“It was fine,” he snapped. “Nice. I need to go.”

“Are you all right?”

“Fine,” he hissed. He heard murmured conversation for a few seconds, and then Nat was back on the line.

“We’re coming over. Be there in twenty.”

“What?” he yelped. “No! Don’t come—”

“Twenty minutes. We’ll bring coffee.”

Bucky gaped at the phone and almost shot off the bed when Steve’s tip pushed at his opening. “Holy shit! What are you doing?”

Steve breathed against his ear and wrapped his arms around him tighter to tug Bucky’s back against his chest. “I’m making you feel good, baby,” he mumbled.

“Nat and Sam are on their way over. I tried to stop them, but she wouldn’t listen. We have twenty minutes.”

“Shit.”

“I know,” Bucky whined. “I’m horny, and I want to ride my boyfriend like a pony.”

Steve snorted in Bucky’s ear. “You’re always horny, sweetheart. It’s sexy as fuck, but we’re gonna have to speed this up if they’re on their way over.”

Bucky perked up and flipped over to face Steve. “You think we have time?”

“If I fuck you in the shower, I think we can manage.”

Bucky threw off the covers and was in the bathroom in seconds. He turned on the water and waited for a few seconds for it to heat before stepping inside and yelling, “I’m waiting. Get your ass in here, Rogers.”

Steve’s bulk took up a large portion of the stall, and he crowded Bucky against the wall. His mouth covered Bucky’s, and they kissed like they hadn’t been sexing each other up every second since Friday. Steve lifted Bucky so that his legs wrapped around Steve’s waist and slid home. Bucky’d been fucked so many times that he was still loose and open enough for Steve to push inside easily enough, and they set a punishing pace.

Bucky’s head fell back against the shower stall, and he held on for dear life. Steve rammed into him repeatedly, and it felt like part desperation and part celebration as Bucky’s balls tightened.

Steve’s eyes were closed and his brow furrowed over open lips that mouthed Bucky’s name and lewd expletives as they rocked together.

“Steve… fuck, baby.”

“Jerk your cock, honey. I’m so close.”

“Already?”

“Buck—”

Bucky swore again and reached down to grab his shaft. It was red and throbbing as it bobbed between their bodies. He released a shout. Suspended in the air, held aloft by his boyfriend’s strong arms, fucking into his own hand while Steve stretched him with his thick cock. It was too much, and he was loud as he came. Steve followed him with a guttural moan that ripped from deep inside his chest. They breathed together for a few moments, but the seconds were ticking away as quickly as the water flowed down the drain.

“We’re doing more of that again later,” Steve promised with a gentle kiss. “And tomorrow, I’m plugging you up after so that you’re ready for me when I get home from work.”

Bucky squawked, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything other than regaining his footing as Steve let him slide down the shower wall. They showered quickly after that, washing each other’s hair and soaping their bodies to remove traces of what they’d done before their company arrived. They towel dried and slipped on sweats and t-shirts and had time to share one more filthy kiss before there was a sharp knock on the door. Fingers entwined, they headed to welcome their friends, but they giggled and groped each other the entire way across the apartment.

“Behave!” Bucky hissed as Steve grabbed his ass again. Undeterred, Steve moved behind him and slung his arms around Bucky’s neck and pressed his groin into Bucky’s backside. When the door swung open, they both grinned at Nat and Sam.

“I _knew_ it!” Sam crowed so loudly Alpine bolted upright from her patch of sunlight on the floor and disappeared under Bucky’s very messy, very unmade, very obviously-recently-used-for-sex bed.

“You almost interrupted morning sex,” Bucky sang. “Give me that coffee.”

He was half done with it before Nat and Sam stopped squealing like teenagers. Steve’s face was a goddamn miracle as it glowed with happiness.

“Get in here,” he finally ordered. “At least let me eat breakfast while you pump us for information.”  
  


He sounded like his usual grumpy self, but secretly, he was thrilled his friends wanted to know the details. He could spend the rest of his life talking about how much he loved Steve Rogers. Debriefing over some pancakes seemed like a good enough way to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, y'all! I thought I'd finished this story, but I ended up adding two more bingo fills. Thanks for hanging with me. Come find me on tumblr. I'm buckybarnesdeservestobehappy there, too.


	19. It's a Beautiful Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Nat are happy for them.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky has a perfect day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: U4; Precision  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes); Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanoff & Sam Wilson
> 
> With apologies to Ace of Base for the title.

“So, what happened?” Natasha asked as she waved her hands at them. “What caused you two idiots to get your heads out of your asses?”

“Awww. Thanks, Nat! We love you, too,” Bucky teased and leaned his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve leaned down and kissed his forehead, and Bucky couldn’t help the wide smile that split his face. He was madly in love, and it would have been sickening if it wasn’t him feeling this way.

Natasha had the grace to flush, but she merely waited for him to answer. Sam, however, had no such qualms.

“Buck Nasty’s been getting it on. I know that look. Both of you. Dopey smiles. Starry eyes. Can’t keep your hands off each other. Convinced the other hung the moon and stars. You two got laid hard.”

“Stop, or we’ll subject you to way more PDA than is appropriate,” Steve said softly, and Bucky smiled at his protectiveness. “Pancakes? I’ll make them.”

Steve pulled the ingredients from the cabinets as the other three settled into the chairs at the bar to watch. Nat tucked a lock of hair behind Bucky’s left ear and smiled at him. He nudged into her hand, his gesture one of forgiveness for her forthright comments. Of everyone in the world besides Steve, Natasha loved him the most. Since his family was all gone, he had only his friends, and he had the best of them.

Alpine curled under his feet, and he leaned forward to watch Steve pour the batter on a griddle in precise circles. The uniformity was meticulous, perfectly shaped and spaced. Bucky admired the care he took, since it was something Steve brought to almost everything he did, including the two things he loved the most—making love to Bucky and creating art. It was then that he let down his walls and allowed his ingenuity to take control. Bucky’d been the recipient of Steve’s talents more often than not, and he was truly grateful for his new boyfriend’s abilities.

“We talked,” he admitted. The answer was simple, but it had been such a process to get there. Their confessions had been years in the making, but they were worth the wait. “You were right, Sam. No, I’ll never say that again. Riley’s great. Very kind. Super hot. Things went well between us, and he listened when Steve was the topic of conversation. I brought Riley home. Thought maybe he’d help take my mind off things, but Steve was here waiting when I walked in. He blew up and confessed he loves me, and it finally all made sense. Everything he’s said. Everything all of you wondered. I didn’t know. I couldn’t even imagine, and now it’s real, and I love him, and I don’t ever want to let him go.”

Pleased, Steve flushed and flipped the flapjacks. They were perfectly golden, just like him, and Bucky had an image of a sticky, sweet, syrup-covered boyfriend in his future. He’d lick him like a lollipop until Steve was clean. In fact, Bucky had all sorts of ideas about what they’d do together now that they had all the time in the world to explore each other’s bodies.

“That’s a lot,” Sam mumbled, but it was clear he was pleased they’d found their way to each other. “Congrats, guys. It’s about damn time is all I have to say.”

“I really thought the threesome would have done it, but we can’t all be geniuses,” Natasha mused, and Bucky flipped her the bird.

“Steve and I both—”

“Oh, calm yourself, Bucky Bear. You’re both brilliant. Just not when it came to seeing what’s right in front of your faces.”

Steve cleared his throat. “I’ve known I love him for years,” he protested.

“Yes, but your boy didn’t, and you kept trying to lead him along instead of telling him,” Sam chided.

Steve shot back, “You fixed him up with a blind date. You’re both on my shit list for a good long while.”

“About that—”

“I don’t really care what the intention was behind it,” Steve countered. “You both knew how I felt about him, and you set him up with someone he could have fallen for. Then where would I have been? Shit. List. Period.”

“I’ll remind you of that when I make the toast at your wedding,” Sam teased, but Bucky just grinned at his new boyfriend. Steve had already told him he was all in, and Bucky had no reason at all to slow things down. He was going to marry Steve sooner rather than later, and that was absolutely fine by him.

The pancakes were perfect, the coffee was hot and plentiful, Alpine purred, and he and his friends were happy. Bucky knew once he and Steve were alone together again, there’d be more talking, more kissing, and definitely more sex. All in all, it wasn’t a bad life. In fact, it was a pretty beautiful one. For the first time in years, Bucky was optimistic that everything might actually work the way he’d always dreamed but didn’t think he deserved.

That night, Steve convinced him otherwise. Bucky was worth everything. With the same precision as he’d spooned pancake batter on the hot griddle, Steve took Bucky apart and put him back together again. They both wept openly when it was over. They were exhausted, sated, and loved beyond reason. Bucky couldn’t wait for the next day and then another and more after that.


	20. Rock On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Barnes doesn't ask for much, but maybe he should.
> 
> Or
> 
> Bucky Barnes finds his happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Square Filled: K4; Pet Rock  
> Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes)
> 
> BINGO! Finally! It only took filling 20 squares before I managed to get one. The remaining five will be posted following Christmas in separate stories.
> 
> I'm fairly new to the Stucky fandom, and I'm grateful and thankful for the readership, comments, and kudos. Thank you for welcoming me aboard the ship. I have a number of other stories written and will post them in the forthcoming months. I hope you'll check them out and those I've previously posted, as well. I'm also participating in Stucky Bingo and have several stories ready to go. If you're active on tumblr and feel the urge, come talk to [me there.](https://buckybarnesdeservestobehappy.tumblr.com)

Bucky Barnes didn’t ask for much in life. All he wanted was a soft bed, the love of his cat Alpine, and strong coffee in the morning.

That wasn’t so much. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Except that it wasn’t quite enough.

He also wanted Steve Rogers. His best friend turned boyfriend had a way of making his life immensely better, and Bucky loved him for it.

Steve adored him, showered him with time and attention, and wrote him silly notes that made him smile. Since he was an artist, Steve also presented Bucky with gifts—a painting of the photograph of them together at age six with Steve’s black eye and Bucky’s wide smile, a pet rock Steve decorated to look like Bucky, and a charcoal sketch of Bucky’s family that made him cry when he saw it the first time.

Steve still burst into Bucky’s place and told him to get dressed because they had places to go, but that wasn’t such a problem anymore. You see, Bucky had changed the locks. And his apartment. And his address. They’d moved in together after deciding to give up their own places and find a new one that suited them both.

Alpine came with him, of course, and she loved the new wide windowsills where she could nap in the warm sun and purr her approval and watch her two dads love each other as much as they cherished her. She slept with them at night when she was allowed, which wasn’t always because her parents had a healthy sex life that required time without her interfering.

They still fed each other Thai food from cartons and blasted 80s hair band songs to which they danced and sang and generally made fools of themselves. Nat and Sam dropped by occasionally, but there were no more threesomes since Steve and Bucky were together and so were Sam and Natasha. Riley visited when he was in town, but he didn’t kiss Bucky again. Instead, a genuine friendship developed, and that seemed more natural anyway.

Six months after they confessed their love for each other, Steve dropped down on one knee and popped the question. Bucky, so eager he was shaking, said yes before Steve could even finish asking. They didn’t want a big wedding, so they invited their best friends to join them at City Hall and tied the knot two weeks later. They honeymooned in LA and visited the Getty to see Steve’s curated space. They took long walks along the beach holding hands and planning their future. Steve brought up adoption, and Bucky realized he wanted to be a father and to raise children with his best friend and love of his life more than almost anything else.

No, Bucky Barnes didn’t ask for much in life. He knew how dangerous it was to want something he was sure he didn’t deserve. He didn’t ask for much at all, but he found it anyway.


End file.
